Actor Randy Quaid—Dennis’s eccentric, bearded older brother—was arrested in Montreal Wednesday for the second time this year. At an Immigration and Refugee Board hearing Thursday, Canadian border officers revealed the reason why: They had ordered Quaid to leave Canada next Wednesday, and believed he would not comply.
The sociology professor arrested over the weekend after she lit a cigarette on a flight from Nicaragua to Miami and loudly ranted for hours about the United States declaring war on Venezuela, told her crazy side of the crazy story to Philadelphia magazine today. It is everything you hoped it could be.
There's a partial resolution to the heartbreaking story of the Shar-pei mix abandoned at a Scottish train station last week with a suitcase full of his stuff. The Scottish Daily Record reports the doggie we knew as Kai—whose real name turns out to be Pluto—is doing just fine now, but the story of his abandonment is just as sad and full of shitty human tricks as you imagined.
Yesterday, Tracy Morgan made one of his first public statements since a Walmart truck hit his limo bus in June, leaving him with serious physical and neurological injuries. "I'm fighting hard every day to get back," he said. But after that hopeful sentiment, Morgan's lawyer has jumped in to make sure we don't set our expectations too high.
Kendall Jenner, professional Kardashian, passed the Turing Test this weekend by leaving a 30 percent tip on an expensive meal, proving herself indistinguishable from an actual human customer. Inexplicably, no one has presented her or her creator, artificial intelligence pioneer Kris Jenner, with a goddamn medal.
Mixed martial arts fighter Jon "War Machine" Koppenhaver is wanted by Las Vegas police after his ex-girlfriend, porn star Christy Mack, accused him of beating her and posted photos of her severe injuries. Dog the Bounty Hunter, a television personality seemingly unrelated to the case, has threatened to hunt Koppenhaver down.
Notoriously skeevy American Apparel founder Dov Charney was fired in mid-June for a long list of reasons, including allegedly misusing company funds, engaging in and covering up sexual harassment, and leaking nude photos of the woman who claims she was his sex slave. But the Charney-American Apparel breakup apparently didn't stick—the company is bringing him back as a consultant.
"Gerry Adjmi," the young man recently seen in a viral video claiming that his father "owns half of Manhattan" and "owns the cops," is not who he said he was. He is, according to The Smoking Gun, an NYU student, New Jerseyite, possible humanitarian, and definite insufferable prick named Gerry Shalam.