George Clooney, Megaphone Crooner

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/08/08 01:20PM

Never one to miss an opportunity to sing in public, superstar George Clooney picked up the nearest megaphone and began to croon the afternoon away. Clooney started off with a selection of songs made popular by his aunt, Rosemary Clooney, before transitioning into a jubilant medley of Rudy Valle and Frank Sinatra tunes. One female onlooker was quoted as saying that his appeal was due to the fact that "he's got the voice of the Velvet Fog, the charm of Dean Martin and the sex appeal of all three Jonas Brothers."

Kate Winslet Oscar Bait Doubles Overnight as Weinsteins Bump Up 'The Reader'

STV · 08/28/08 01:10PM

The last news we'd heard about Kate Winslet's post-WWII drama The Reader was less than reassuring: While the film ultimately got its first choice of leading lady after a pregnant Nicole Kidman backed out, the successive passings of co-producers Anthony Minghella and Sydney Pollack left Scott Rudin on his own with the broke-ass Weinsteins to maneuver the Oscar push everyone had in mind. Then, as recently as last month, Defamer operatives whispered that The Reader wouldn't make it to 2008 at all, instead landing somewhere of TWC's choosing in 2009 — if it could afford to release it at all. Today, however, brings renewed optimism from Harvey, who planted a sigh of relief in Variety that The Reader has legs:

What's With The Stain, Statham?

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/27/08 01:55PM

Movie tough guy Jason Statham is just the latest celebrity to jump on the mystery stain fad. The Death Race star was spotted leaving popular Italian eatery Café Med with a rather large wet spot on the front of his t-shirt. Statham deflected any questions about the stain with the classic grade school defense, "That's for me to know and you to find out." Statham saw that interest in his stain was being to dwindle once he left the restaurant.

A Cyrus Family Birthday: Miley's Treat

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/26/08 06:00PM

Leader of the tween revolution Miley Cyrus could barely hold back her excitement as the entire Cyrus clan headed for an early dinner at a City Wok in Studio City. The famed family rallied together to celebrate Billy Ray's birthday, but sadly, City Wok was not his first choice for a birthday dinner. Billy Ray Cyrus said, "I wanted to go to STK or Chop and get a great big ole steak. But since Miley is the breadwinner in this family, she calls the shots and she picked up City Wok." Miley added, "Egg rolls are going to be super yummers. Happy birthday, Dad!"

And Just Like That, The Makeover Is Over

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/21/08 12:35PM

Fedora fanatic Samantha Ronson performed her best Al Bundy impression as she tagged along with good friend Lindsay Lohan on yet another shopping trip. Ronson was quick to specify that their shopping trip would not involve any more attempts to make her appear more "girly." As she reflected upon the failure of her recent makeover, Lohan released a disappointed sigh. Lohan said, "I tried. I really did. But it's like they say, you can't teach an old dog new tricks." Ronson quickly quipped back, "Why change horses midstream?" The twosome began to trade old proverbs and quotes from Benjamin Franklin for over ten minutes before they reached a compromise and planned a trip to go sneaker shopping on Fairfax Ave.

The Couple That Wears Cardigans Together, Stays Together

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/20/08 02:00PM

Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker continued to defy the rumors that there's trouble in their personal paradise as they sported matching gray cardigans on Wednesday. Their child's own gray cardigan was taken out of commission earlier in the day thanks to an incident involving chocolate ice cream, but the couple vowed not to let that affect their trip. Broderick said with pride, "It's like we're the Mets. Right now, we're in first place in family fun and we're going to go all the way to big show."

Looks Like Somebody Wasn't Sure About Using Sure

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/20/08 12:30PM

All heck broke loose at LAX on Tuesday afternoon when Kate Hudson entered a terminal with sweaty pits. One onlooker remarked, "I had always heard that celebrities were supposedly regular people like you and me, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that they would go out in public without applying a little anti-perspirant." Another onlooker, a self-described "excessive sweater", appreciated seeing a fellow sweater living their life to the fullest.

Kate Hudson Is No Misty May-Treanor

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/14/08 01:15PM

Seeking a cure for her Olympic fever, Kate Hudson and her young son Ryder took the beaches of Manhattan Beach for a serious game of beach volleyball. The mother/son duo eventually managed to get a pick-up game going with two of the members of the paparazzi, but the matchup quickly proved to be lopsided. She hadn't properly accounted for Ryder's small stature and lack of mental focus — when he wasn't busy wandering off and attempting to swim in the ocean, he consistently hit the ball into the lower portion of the net. However, the Hudsons soldiered on with their game, ultimately losing to the Flynet crew 21 - 3.

If It Wasn't For This Stupid Brace, You'd Get The Meanest Middle Finger Ever!

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/13/08 04:15PM

Eagle Eye star Shia LaBeouf felt a sharp rush of pain in his left-hand when he attempted to flip off a group of photographers. LaBeouf knew that he could've used his other hand to deliver the bird, but he prefers using his left hand for explicit gestures. LaBeouf explained, "How am I supposed to tell people to leave me alone? Everyone knows that your right hand is only for throwing the peace sign or the Spock hand gesture. Rightie is my lover hand."

Man, Who Knew This Blogging Business Was Such Hard Work?

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/12/08 06:05PM

Celebrity power blogger David Hasselhoff could barely step away from his laptop at breakfast this morning. In between bites of strawberries and toast, Hasselhoff said, "Nobody takes a minute off on the internet. You have to be there every minute of the day looking and hunting for the next big story. So, you have to make it work for you and here I am with my laptop and my wireless card looking to break more stories before I finish my breakfast than Perez does in a week." The Hoff appeared to be unconcerned about the syrup he spilled on his laptop since it's still under warranty at the Apple store.

Suri Cruise, Not A Fan Of Mondays

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/11/08 12:20PM

While leaving Chelsea Piers over the weekend, Suri Cruise displayed a premature case of the Mondays. Cruise was not looking forward to starting the workweek all over again. Cruise said, "I gotta start rolling calls early in the morning cause of this meeting I have at 11. I mean, who schedules a meeting then? We're all going to be zoning out and thinking about lunch or wanting to update our Facebook status. And I have another meeting in the afternoon right around my coffee break. I prefer to get the coffee myself but I'll just have my assistant do it. I'm not sure if he can get it together. Ugh. I need a vacation or at least be Friday afternoon, already?"

I Can't Believe They're Out Of Smokes & Leggings

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/08/08 12:20PM

A dejected Lindsay Lohan moped around after a less than stellar shopping trip in Los Angeles. Lohan accompanied long time companion Samantha Ronson on the trip to celebrate the Queen Of The Fedoras' 31st birthday. Lohan wanted to end the birthday trip as soon as she discovered that the shopping center contained no stores that sold Lohan's life fuel: cigarettes and leggings. Using her "But, It's My Birthday" trump card, Ronson continued to shop as Lohan sulked along.

Oh Boy, I Did Not Need To See That E-Mail

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/06/08 05:30PM

Cinematic tough guy Clive Owen received some bad news via his Blackberry outside the London branch of celeb sushi spot Nobu on Tuesday night. Apparently, the die-hard Liverpool F.C. fan got the news that the club had lost a mid-fielder for the upcoming season. Owen said, "There must be a bunch of Manchester wankers in the Visa office. Maybe I should go over there and give those droogs a swift kick to the yarbles."

Kate Hudson Is Over The Express Lane Limit

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/05/08 04:00PM

In a rush to finish her grocery shopping, beloved actress Kate Hudson decided to sneak her shopping cart into the express lane at Whole Foods. Hudson knew that she was well over the item limit for the trendy organic market, but believed her trademark charm would allow her to get away with it. After scanning a few items, the Whole Foods cashier noticed that Hudson was going to be well over the express lane limit and stopped scanning. Hudson wondered what the problem was, but the cashier pointed to the sign above her post with the item limit and added, "I've scanned the express lane limit, ma'am." Hudson asked if the cashier could give her a mulligan this time around and that the next time, she'll wait in the regular line with everybody else. The cashier pensively thought for a moment, then returned to scanning items. The cashier said, "This is only because I loved Raising Helen."

Hands Check!

Douglas Reinhardt · 08/04/08 12:10PM

Film director Len Wiseman appeared to be slightly distracted as he left Victoria Beckham's party in Beverly Hills with his wife, actress Kate Beckinsale. Wiseman's hands could barely maintain the "ten and two" position on the steering wheel as Beckinsale's hand mysteriously disappeared below the frame. The couple's luxury car remained stopped at a traffic light on Wilshire for a few lights, much to the dismay of motorists behind the couple.

'High School Musical' Star Not Phased By Quake, Continues Coffee Run

Douglas Reinhardt · 07/29/08 04:20PM

High School Musical trilogy star Ashley Tisdale appeared to be cool as cucumber after a 5.8 earthquake rocked the Los Angeles area. Tisdale admitted that she was a bit startled by the shaking in her home, but her caffeine related headache was far more painful. Tisdale said, "It was kind of like a ride at the fair, but my headache just made it unbearable to stare at lights or do anything. Earthquake or not, I need my Hazelnut. My headaches are worse than earthquake, trust me."

I'm Late, I'm Late For A Very Important Date

Douglas Reinhardt · 07/28/08 03:05PM

Ashton Kutcher broke a land speed record on the weekend as he left a Los Angeles area Kabbalah center. According to witnesses on the scene, Kutcher looked like a streak of white lightning as he jaywalked jayran across the street. Kutcher was apparently in a rush to get a white party, but the onlookers thought the My Boss's Daughter star should use his skills elsewhere. One witness said, "With the way that guy was running, you'd think he's the Flash or something. Maybe he should stop the acting thing and fight crime or try out for the Olympics. USA could clean up with that kind of speed."

Violet Affleck Intent On Unveiling Greatest Show On Earth

Douglas Reinhardt · 07/22/08 04:00PM

On their way to an art class in Brentwood, Violet Affleck nearly provided the snaparazzi with the show of shows as she fumbled around with her famous mom's shirt collar. Jennifer Garner said, "Whoa, sweetie. Somebody is acting like a Chico State student who had one too many Coronas after finishing his last mid term final."

Shia LaBeouf Still On The Run From Johnny Law

Douglas Reinhardt · 07/22/08 01:05PM

Shia LaBeouf attempted to be on his best behavior as he exited a Robeks on Tuesday morning. LaBeouf was not in the mood to get involved in any shenanigans involving local law enforcement. At first, LaBeouf began to casually stroll by the police, but then he decided it might be better to just sprint back to his car. During his gallop, LaBeouf accidentally dropped his smoothie on the ground. One of the officers got up from their seat and asked the Eagle Eye star if everything was okay. LaBeouf said, "I just dropped my smoothie. Don't worry, I'll clean it up. There's no law about dropping smoothies, right?" The officer shrugged his shoulders and sat back down and mentioned to his partner how that kid from Indiana Jones seemed a bit paranoid.

Must ... Fight ... The ... Urge ...

Douglas Reinhardt · 07/22/08 11:50AM

Popular actress Katherine Heigl valiantly fought her urge to enjoy one of her trademark cigarettes after a meal in Pasadena on Monday. It was a perfect moment for a cigarette; the waiter even put an ashtray on the table for Heigl. Yet Heigl remained steadfast in her decision to restart her New Year''s resolution a few months later. Mrs. Heigl noticed the tension in her daughter's face and slightly nudged the ashtray over to her daughter. Heigl shot the ashtray back like a hockey puck. Heigl said, "I just have this really big food baby, right now. It'll pass in a bit."