Marco Rubio Please Fuck Up My Football Team

Jordan Sargent · 04/01/16 12:15PM

For most of you, the day Marco Rubio dropped out of the Republican presidential race is the same day he disappeared from your life, perhaps forever. The same may not be true for me.

Why a Russian Hacker Declared War on the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office

Andy Cush · 03/16/16 09:50AM

On Monday, Mark Dougan, a former deputy with the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office, noticed a truck that had been idling outside his Palm Beach Gardens home for an unusually long time. He stepped outside to question the driver and was quickly surrounded by at least a dozen FBI agents.

Marco Rubio Suspends His Campaign (Finally)

Ashley Feinberg · 03/15/16 07:45PM

After getting soundly trounced by Trump in his home state, Marco Rubio finally took his campaign out back and put it out of his misery. Which means he should be endorsing Donald Trump by—oh, let’s say Friday.

Florida, Prepare to Be Underwater

Hamilton Nolan · 03/14/16 12:25PM

The climate is changing. The earth is warming. Sea levels are rising. We know all of these things to be true. Today, we have a clearer picture of who could soon be inundated by the mighty oceans, and where they might go ( to a watery grave).

Marco Rubio Doesn't Care About Florida—or Anyone

Brendan O'Connor · 03/10/16 10:40PM

Marco Rubio, junior senator from Florida, which is sinking in to the sea, glibly dismissed a direct question tonight about legislative measures he would take to ameliorate climate change. Marco Rubio is a climate-change denier.

Donald Trump Campaign Now Clearly Endangering the Well-Being of Children

Jordan Sargent · 01/14/16 03:30PM

Yesterday’s Donald Trump rally in Pensacola, Fla. featured all the hits: Crazy depraved old people in bad hats, mutual masturbation to the thought of a very large wall, and Trump himself publicly berating somebody for a minor perceived mistake. But it also featured what stands as a new classic in the Trump canon: a troupe of young girls clumsily performing a rather horrible pop song written in his honor.

REMINDER: St. Augustine, Florida Still the Nation's Oldest City

Hamilton Nolan · 12/21/15 01:06PM

As the educated among you well know, St. Augustine, Florida is our nation’s Oldest Continuously Occupied European Settlement. ALERT: do NOT fall for second-rate cities attempting to co-opt St. Augustine’s rightful title of Nation’s Oldest City.