Science Watch: Our Man In Space

Hamilton Nolan · 03/08/16 04:58PM

Animal legs! Weather extremes! Planet surfaces! Astronaut man! Dark things! Bee teams! Bio touch! And liquids that may or may not be of benefit to one and all! It’s your periodic Science Watch, where we watch science—without ever touching the ground!

Crazy Toothy Fish Is In Fact Jesus, Our Lord

Hamilton Nolan · 06/03/15 09:16AM

When you see a fish like this swimming by, you might dismiss it by saying, “Don’t let that weirdo toothy monster fish touch me!” while flinging a spear. But what if you knew that that fish was actually Jesus, the Christ?

Fancy NYC Eatery Traumatizes Woman With Fresh Fish Served Hook Still In

Andy Cush · 02/11/15 01:47PM

Fancy food: it is a funny thing. One person might not understand why another might enjoy eating tortured goose liver or snails, and the other might say, "Mmm, I love these snails and tortured goose liver. More, please!" Aliona Russo, a non-fancy woman, recently sat down for dinner at Manhattan's fancy Villagio on the Park restaurant and was traumatized to find a perfectly fresh fish sitting on her plate. So fresh, in fact, that the hook was still sitting in the little fishy's mouth.

If You Don't Want To Watch A Fish Suck a Dick, Here's a Description

Sam Biddle · 12/22/14 05:35PM

A video file by the name of "2 guys 1 fish" is making its way around Twitter today. The video depicts a man receiving oral sex from a large fish. If you want to watch the video—which, let's be clear, depicts what is almost certainly an illegal act of animal abuse—it is located here. If you don't want to watch, but want to be familiar with the events contained therein, here's a description of the act.

Are There Still Undiscovered Sea Monsters?

Hamilton Nolan · 01/17/14 05:14PM

It is time once again for "Hey, Science," our world-renowned feature in which we enlist real live scientific experts to answer humanity's most provocative/ dumb scientific questions. Today: Do unknown sea monsters still lurk in the deep?

Sarah Palin Calls For Fish Photography

Hamilton Nolan · 01/14/14 04:05PM

"I think this world would be better off having more young women holding a fish in a picture than holding their camera in front of a bathroom mirror, taking a selfie." -Sarah Palin. No PR people are writing her quotes! Never change, fish lady. [FB]

Brooklyn Man Murders Roommate's Fish Because He Just Really Doesn't Want Her To Move Out

Ramou Sarr · 03/23/13 02:40PM

I used to fantasize about leaving the front door open for hours so that my roommate's obese cat who shed incessantly would muster enough energy to escape. And I often thought, "It would be much easier to make her life miserable if she had a fish that I could just flush down the toilet." That's a lie, but it's exactly what 47-year-old Brooklyn man, Jose Santiago allegedly did.

Hamilton Nolan · 02/19/13 10:42AM

Would you trust a fast food restaurant to cook you non-fried fish? I mean, sure. *Deep, slow breaths* It'll be fine.

You Have No Idea What Kind of Fish You're Eating

Hamilton Nolan · 12/11/12 10:07AM

Do you know what kind of fish you're eating? Let's be very honest about the average American's palate: the average American is unable to distinguish a banana from a deep-fried Oreo cookie in a blind taste test. It is perhaps too much to expect the average American to be able to distinguish between perch and flounder. Which is probably why a lot of restaurants just sell any old fish and label it on the menu as "World's BEST Kind of Fish."