The ferret's grand ambition was this: to escape his exile on the table and fly free across the great chasm, to the far-off ironing board. His owners ruled everything he could see, but surely they could not rule the sky.
Why are so many ferrets being stolen in the U.K.? You can tell us your theories in the comments, but know this—if you ever get caught jacking a ferret, just say yours is not the one cops are looking for: "I'd suggest one ferret looks very much like another. That's going to be one of the issues at trial."