You know how sometimes you get a package in the mail but you don't remember ordering anything and then you open up the box and it's, like, adorable vintage salt and pepper shakers from Etsy and then you post on Facebook "I guess that bottle of pinot grigio decided to take me on a shopping spree last week LOL" and all your friends are like "Haha <3"?
The Online Dermatology Journal has a fascinating paper concerning "Pseudomamma on the foot," which is to say "An unusual presentation of supernumerary breast tissue," which is to say: This woman grew a goddamn nipple on the bottom of her foot. There it is! You can see it for yourself! A foot-nipple!
Four disembodied right feet washed up on the shores of British Columbia (which is in Canada) between August of last year and this summer. Then a left foot washed up. Then another right foot washed up, but that was a hoax. Apparently we missed a foot or two because number seven has just made it to the banks of the Fraser River in Richmond, B.C.. This one is a left foot, wearing a New Balance sneaker, which means it might be a match for one of the right feet. The foot was found by a local city council candidate! "I poked it with a stick. I didn't want to touch it. It was really hard material inside the shoe. I picked it up and put it in a bag and it was very heavy," he said. The Mounties say there's no specific evidence of foul play but hey guys, seven disembodied human feet have washed up on land. [CBC]
Disembodied feet keep washing up on the shores of British Columbia—which, despite the name, is apparently in Canada?—and everyone is in a tizzy. Four right feet have been discovered since last August in the Strait of Georgia (once again, still Canada) near Vancouver, all of them in sneakers. A left foot was found earlier this week. Another right foot was found yesterday, but it was apparently a hilarious hoax. Canadians are such kidders! Anyway, no one knows where all these feet are coming from. But "Curtis Ebbesmeyer, an expert on ocean currents, told The Sun a foot wearing a buoyant athletic shoe could float as far as 1,000 miles." Which is good to know! As always, authorities advise that you avoid amputees and Canadians.
Ah, Profnet—the easy-peasy electronic service that lets reporters put out requests for even the strangest sources. Then those requests are leaked to us, and we can all have a sympathetic laugh about the endlessly debasing things that freelancers have to go through just to pay the rent. Maybe you can help! Do you know much about smelly feet and/ or vaginas? Please get in touch at once!
See these flip-flops? They're not just any flip-flops. They're high fashion, "Married to the Mob" flip-flops, and they cost $42. Can you spot the reason why this is stupid? That's right: you pay ten times what you would pay for a plain pair of flip-flops, in order to have a brand name which is covered by your foot when you are wearing them. I imagine fashion snobs must just hang these flip-flops jauntily over their shoulder instead of slipping them on their feet, so that the logo can shine freely. In fact, the entire idea of paying extra for name-brand flip-flops is a bit ridiculous. But the price tag can get much, much worse than $42. Allow us introduce you to PechePlatinum—the "World's Most Expensive Flip-Flops."
In the interest of streamlining our coverage of podiatric oddities and mishaps in the greater famous-people population, we bring to you a round-up of today's top toe-related celebrity health stories, as reported by TMZ:
· Blake "For the Love of God, Please Stop Beatboxing and Win Already So We Can Forget You Ever Existed" Lewis, American Idol final three finalist, reportedly had to see a doctor about a hangnail that turned black. (Warning: The accompanying photo of a toe is marked as "not Blake's," but who can resist lingering over a close-up of a stranger's infection!) We encourage you to tie a yellow ribbon around your own big toe as a reminder that our thoughts and prayers are with Blake at this difficult time, vowing not to remove it at least until the swelling reduces and color begins to return to normal. [TMZ]