Tabloids Lose Seemingly Easy Way To Defame Britney Spears

mark · 11/07/06 12:21PM

In what is certain to be a landmark decision enabling the tabloid media to tie virtually any sluttily marketed celebrity presence to participation in possibly nonexistent amateur sex productions with their poorly chosen partners, a judge has ruled that Britney Spears can't be defamed by rumors that she has participated in the video documentation of the earliest, most penetrative stages of the baby-making process with vaguely vampiric househusband Kevin Federline, letting Us Weekly off the hook for their story that the couple feared the release of a tape featuring their erotic adventures. Chastiseth Lady Justice, offended that Spears thinks she has a reputation to damage: