Today, H&M released its collaboration with the fashion house Balmain, a name you will recognize if you listen to rap music, or follow celebrities on Instagram, or remember that jacket that made both Justin Bieber and Kris Jenner look like Michael Jackson. Anyway, in Europe at least, people are trying to murder each other for this shit.
Designer and Occasional Thirst Trap Marc Jacobs is hosting a party during New York Fashion Week for the release of Gloss, a new book about the work of famed 1970s photographer Chris von Wangenheim. Invitations, which were recently sent out, detailed—in ALL CAPS!— Jacobs’ absurd dress code requirements.
There’s a lot more to ATI—the insane fundamentalist homeschool program used by the Duggars and thousands of others—than just bad science. In addition to revelations about cancer-causing semen, you’ll also be getting a whole section of fashion tips. Because if there’s anything god hates (more than lust and sex and logic and just you in general), it’s hairstyles that don’t complement the shape of your face.
You're a discerning and fashionable gentleman. You have money, power, and an insatiable appetite for breasts and other sex-type stuff. You know what time it is. You wear a watch—but you need a new one. Which watch is the watch for you? Think fast: The insufficiently manly timepiece on your wrist is ticking.
Imagine: you're lying in bed, the perfume of lovemaking still stinging your nostrils and firing your neurons, legs tangled with your partner. Baby, that sex with you was so good, you coo, rolling over—only to discover that your partner is wearing a gold miniature smartphone on his wrist. Don't ever let this happen.