Hamilton Nolan · 11/18/13 03:30PM

The "man bun" fake trend story has been going strong for at least 22 months now, making it the longest-running fake trend story since "cougars."

Allow Us to Gently Point Out that New York Magazine's Cover Story Is Meaningless

Hamilton Nolan · 03/19/12 02:35PM

New York Magazine cover stories that purport to capture and explain some element of our current zeitgeist are not to be taken seriously. Just to be clear. Only people hermetically sealed in bubbles of Manhattan privilege would even labor under the delusion that such works of artful fiction were meant to be "believed," in a literal sense. Still—it is bothersome that they continue to be foisted upon the public. Why not just publish a collection of knock-knock jokes, instead? They'd contain more wisdom.

Manners Down South: Killed by Anecdotes

Hamilton Nolan · 11/02/11 09:26AM

Everyone knows that people in America's Northeast, Northwest, and Southwest regions are sociopaths with no regard for others. We don't even need to mention that widely accepted fact. Everyone also knows that the final haven of "manners" here in our nation of animals is the Southeast region, where people still say "Yes ma'am" and shit like that, no matter how corny it sounds, because they love Jesus—and manners.

Fake Trend: People Are Ruder These Days

Hamilton Nolan · 08/09/11 10:44AM

Doesn't it seem like people are rude these days? It's totally not your imagination. Nor is it a simple garden-variety example of the human tendency to fallaciously generalize our own mundane experiences out onto the world at large. Not at all. It's a completely true trend, according to an official-sounding survey thing!

Introducing America's Newest Disfiguring Disease: Blackberry Neck

Brian Moylan · 06/22/11 02:12PM

Did you know that spending too much time looking down at your Blackberry and texting is going to give your neck ugly and unsightly wrinkles? It's true! It's called Blackberry Neck. Says who? Well, the lady who came up with the treatment to fight Blackberry Neck.

Fancy Law Students Play With Dog, Reports Important Paper

Hamilton Nolan · 03/22/11 08:42AM

The many perils of law school—how we love to cover them! As does the Lamestream Media. In fact, competition for stories about law school is now so strict among media outlets that the New York Times—once considered a "prestigious" news outlet dedicated to matters of public import—has written and published an entire story about how law students can borrow a dog to play with for 30 minutes at a time.

Chicks Paying For Things Now

Hamilton Nolan · 02/24/11 01:42PM

Encouraging news from the trend-heavy New York City dating world: single ladies have money now! Seventeen percent more money than their twentysomething male counterparts, according to a study that was immediately seized upon and churned into a New York Post trend story. You know what that means, fellas? Now it's time for you to have a "sugar mama!" Here's the scoop from one wealthy lady who gives her age as "29:"

Parents Won't Leave Kids These Days Alone

Hamilton Nolan · 08/23/10 10:51AM

College is a special time in a teenager's life when he can leave mom and dad behind in order to smoke lots of weed in peace. But according to fake trendspotters, parents these days just can't let go! It's bananas.