Short Ends: We Just Want You To Be Happy, Tori

Seth Abramovitch · 12/27/05 09:17PM

· Color us shocked: Us Weekly has another celebrity engagement exclusive. This time it's Tori Spelling (who isn't even divorced from husband #1 yet) and her boyfriend of four months, Canadian actor Dean McDermott, who according to IMdB "loves to play golf," and "owns two Golden Retrievers." As if being Canadian wasn't boring enough!
· The LAT profiles mother of dreamy-eyed, gay-cowboy-illusionist Jake Gyllenhaal (and screenwriter in her own right) Naomi Foner.
· Turns out comedian Mitch Hedberg did die of an overdose.
· Blogger Thighs Wide Shut argues the case for Munich, and we heartily agree. We particularly enjoyed the paragraph covering how well the goyische cast (the Jewish Caesar, the Jewish Bond, the Jewish Sade and the Jewish Hulk) infuse their characters with Hebraic realness.
· SNL may have finally produced its first new breakout star since Will Ferrell, but it took the internet to do it.

Kimberly Stewart's Fake Wedding Venue To Have Paparazzi Dressed As Elvis

Seth Abramovitch · 11/18/05 04:18PM

It's Day Three of This Week's Fake Engagement of the Century, and developments in the Kimberly Stewart-Talan Torriero impending nuptials are flying at us faster than $20 bills at a homeless man willing to humiliate himself for Paris Hilton's amusement. When last we posted, Stewart was flashing her five-carat engagement zirconia at a Microsoft video game system party. Page Six now tells us that the wedding is not to be some cliffside affair drowned out by the whir of helicopter blades in the distant future. For hot to trot Stewart, reality show husband sex can't happen soon enough: