NASA's Moon Assault Probably Awesome If You Were on the Moon

Hamilton Nolan · 10/09/09 08:18AM

No indication of the moon wobbling dangerously off its axis, starting an inexorable descent towards earth. No huge chunks of the moon breaking off, starting an inexorable descent towards earth. No angry aliens rising out of the moon's core in their battle crafts, starting an inexorable descent towards earth. No reason to call out the Army's top secret interstellar fighting force. In contrast to this direct quote from NASA's director of nerd propaganda, yesterday:

Consultant Somewhere Fired

Hamilton Nolan · 06/29/09 02:41PM

What to call the Nigerian joint venture with Russia's Gazprom, hmmm? Hmm. "Nigaz." That's an even worse faux pas than Gazprom's Ukrainian joint venture, "VladimirPutinIsAnEvilFucker." [Post your own joint ventures in the comments!]

The Persistent Failure of Steven Brill

Hamilton Nolan · 06/23/09 10:06AM

Steven Brill has a reputation for being a media wise man—a deep-thinking mogul who's always spotting the opportunities of The Future. Which is kind of strange, since the majority of his projects have been ostentatious failures.

Microsoft Wants You To 'Verb Up' And 'Bing It'

The Cajun Boy · 05/29/09 12:36AM

On Thursday Microsoft unveiled Bing, its new search engine thingie. They're hoping that before long you'll forget how to "Google it" and will instead "Bing it." Unfortunately we think the name reminds us mostly of Sopranos strippers and the guy who knocked up Elizabeth Hurley. Microsoft FAIL!

Sad Web 2.0 Losers Ready for Web 3.0 (As Soon As They Figure Out What It Is)

Owen Thomas · 04/13/09 03:40PM

Failed Internet mogul Alan Meckler is really excited about the Semantic Web, aka Web 3.0! And who can blame him, since he pretty much failed at versions 1.0 and 2.0? Meckler, who has run a passel of third-rate Internet websites since the early '90s, when he was best-known for trade titles like CD-ROM Librarian, now calls his company WebMediaBrands. Laurel Touby's is part of his collection. The boa-bedecked editrix reports breathlessly on Twitter that her boss has called the Semantic Web "the next stage of the Internet."

Al Gore's Light Bulbs Are Fail

John Cook · 03/28/09 11:00AM

All those curly-cue planet-saving fluorescent light bulbs that Al Gore made everyone buy even though they cost $30 and cast a sickly pale glow DON'T WORK.

'Magic Negro' CD Assumed Key To Ruling GOP

Ryan Tate · 12/29/08 04:52AM

Chip Saltsman just naturally assumed handing out a minstrel song called "Barack the Magic Negro" would quickly win him enough Republican friends to become party chairman. So why is everyone so upset??

'Sun' Failed For Good Reason

Pareene · 09/30/08 11:59AM

When we remember the New York Sun, we'll try to remember the great local reporting and the fantastic sports page and the serious and smart arts coverage. Not so much the ideological inanity and loud constant taking of the precisely wrong side of every important issue of this miserable era. In trying to remember them that way, of course, one is best advised to skip most of their farewell edition. The goodbyes are not self-pitying, at least, but they reveal a newspaper that imagines it had some small role in the destruction of this country while turning a blind eye to the many myriad ways they could've continued on their crusade if they hadn't been so utterly out of touch. The opening of the farewell editorial sets the scene:

Dear Kate Hudson: Where Did It All Go Wrong?

AmyKSays · 09/23/08 04:30PM

With My Best Friend's Girl abysmal box office performance last weekend now behind us, we've been pondering the fallout of some of film's stars. Obviously Jason Biggs is always going to be known as the dude who stuck his peen in an apple pie. And Dane Cook's MySpace rants have gotten more views than all of his films put together. But Kate Hudson! We had so much hope for you, spawn of Goldie Hawn. Once a flaxen-haired hippie goddess with daisies laced in your hair, your gracefully slept your way to the top of the Stillwater groupies in Almost Famous. And you were almost more endearing than annoying in How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days, which we must admit we occasionally watch on TBS when our plans fall through on a Friday night. We thought you might be on your way to becoming the queen of chick flicks, but now, you've taken it too far.How you suddenly went from a cute, perky blonde ingénue to a shrill, talentless flop is puzzling, but we have a feeling the downward spiral began when you took on the gem that was Fool's Gold, in which you reprised your stale dynamic with co-star Matthew McConaughey. Okay, so the film did decently, pulling in $70 million stateside. But it was the film that officially marked you as a romantic foil. You've made a habit out of banking on your hunky co-stars - even doubling up with the Wilson brothers by taking Owen in You, Me, and Dupree, and Luke in Alex and Emma. No longer are you the enticing, independent Penny Lane we once knew who wanted to establish her own identity as an actress. Instead, you seem more interested in raising your dating profile by serving as Lance Armstrong's last blonde-of-the-month. And we're not the only ones who are upset. Your poor career choices have also angered film blogger Jeffrey Wells, who has some harsh words for you: