R.I.P. Clerks Director Kevin Smith's Beard, Age 20-Ish

Jay Hathaway · 10/28/14 08:45AM

Tragic news: The cool, understanding beard you got high and told all your troubles to during high school has passed away. The avuncular facial hair that was always down to buy your friends some beer was attached to actor/director Kevin Smith, and appeared in films like Clerks, Mallrats, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. It will be missed.

Thatz Not Okay: Can You Tell Someone They Look Like Hitler?

Caity Weaver · 01/30/14 11:30AM

One of my coworkers who, to be honest, I find to be rather annoying, recently began growing what can only be referred to as a Hitler mustache. I am afraid he doesn't realize it as such, and that no one else at work will be willing to tell him. I don't know for sure how many friends he has outside of work.

Meet The Man with the Magic Beard

Neetzan Zimmerman · 08/21/13 11:08AM

For reasons that remain upsettingly unclear, photojournalist Ben Garvin of the St. Paul Pioneer Press was compelled to shave off his majestic facial hair.

Good Riddance, Movember

Brian Moylan's Mustache · 12/01/11 02:55PM

Today is December 1. Do you know what that means? Oh, yeah World AIDS Day. That's great, but that's not what makes today awesome. Today marks the end of Movember, when all the jerks and mustache-come-latelys shave their upper lips. Thank the mustache gods.

Even Boy Scouts Have Jumped on the Ironic Facial Hair Bandwagon

Seth Abramovitch · 11/04/11 12:55AM

Behold the new Boy Scouts of America print campaign, as conceived by Ogilvy & Mather and approved, apparently, by The Powers That Be. And while there are those who will inevitably object to the disorienting addition of bio-realistic beards to the beaming smiles of four pre-pubescent boys eager for whatever adventures lie ahead, I for one applaud the introduction of the century-old youth organization to the emergent hipster hobby of facial forestry and artisanal whisker cultivation. Just keep base camp far away from Amish country. [Copyranter]

Arrests Made in Amish 'Beard Bandit' Attacks

Lauri Apple · 10/10/11 07:18AM

Ohio police have arrested at least three men suspected of participating in a string of break-ins in which the victims have also had their beards and hair cut off and stolen. Authorities believe the mastermind behind the attacks is "renegade bishop" Sam Mullet, who leads a tiny Amish sect called the Bergholz Clan.

The World's First Goateed Robot Is Unbelievably Creepy

Max Read · 03/07/11 09:58PM

Why is no one asking about the United States' humiliating failure to compete in the robots-with-facial-hair race? Though American scientists were at the forefront of the bearded robot revolution, a new collaboration between the Japanese company Geminoid and Danish professor Henrik Scharfe has produced the first-ever robot with a goatee (to the best of our knowledge). This is Geminoid DK, modeled on Dr. Scharfe. You should be nice! Someday, "barber for robot" will be the only job left for humans. The ones whose bodies aren't being harvested for energy by the global robo-consciousness, that is! [Geminoid DK]

Jon Stewart Unveils New Facial Hair

Whitney Jefferson · 07/26/10 10:08PM

The Daily Show returned from hiatus tonight and Jon Stewart addressed the change in facial hair almost immediately. He began the show by poking fun of himself before the internet could, saying, "You may be asking, why is Jon Stewart's evil cousin 'Wario' hosting the show?" Good question!

Fish 'Mustache' May Be Used for Fish Oral Sex

Max Read · 06/30/10 12:04AM

Why does the male Mexican molly fish have an 'extravagant moustache-like structure' on its top lip? German and American scientists may have discovered the answer: Because female fish dig it. For oral sex.

Mustached Americans Deserve a Tax Incentive

Elaine Moran · 04/14/10 12:23PM

The American Mustache Institute is calling for the Mustached American Tax Incentive to help defray the costs of mustache maintenance, since mustached Americans improve American good looks and stimulate the economy. Sounds about right, actually.

Hipster Style Infiltrates the Olympics

Maureen O'Connor · 02/18/10 03:52AM

Though Olympic fashion continues to revolve around flags and garish patriotic color, a strange undercurrent of hip infiltrated this year: jeggings-esque faux denim, a surfeit of plaid, and the world's most ironic mustache.

How Jimmy Wales gets the ladies

Owen Thomas · 06/30/08 07:00PM

We've always wondered how a schlubby guy like Jimmy Wales sees so much action. It can't be the I-founded-Wikipedia-can-I-edit-your-page pickup lines — for every Rachel Marsden he lands with those, one thinks Wales would get 10 drinks in the face. At last, we've gotten a scientific explanation: It's the stubble. A recent study found women prefer mates with stubbly cheeks to smooth faces or full beards. (Thank you, Don Johnson.) And according to Wales's comprehensive compendium of facial hair stylings, Wales himself is the iconic paragon of stubble. (Photo by EvgenyGenkin)