If Mitt Romney, who never makes any mistakes, gives a subpar performance at tonight's debate, we'll all know why: he, like Rick Perry before him, was just too tired. According to a report from Buzzfeed, Mitt got almost no sleep Monday night. The cause? A loud train near the candidate's Denver hotel:
Luckily the local news was there to interview the drunk guy (and the squirrel). According to police reports, the squirrel was "eating him." According to Drunk Guy's girlfriend, the squirrel wasn't "eating him; he was just crawling around in his shirt." According to Drunk Guy himself, the squirrel was "just tired" and "resting" in Drunk Guy's shirt. Now that that's cleared up, the reporter informs us that Drunk Guy was indeed drunk and has renamed the squirrel DUI (pronounced: doo-ee).
As the murder trial of Decatur, Georgia's Hemy Neuman wraps up, we discover that Neuman admits he shot Russell Sneiderman outside the man's 2-year-old son's preschool. His lawyers say he should be found not guilty by reason of insanity because "he was visited by a demon who sounded like Barry White and an angel who looked like Olivia Newton-John before he shot and killed a toddler's father outside a preschool." Prosecutors says Hemy's motive was jealousy. [AP]
Dep. Insp. Anthony Bologna, the NYPD commander whose loose ways with pepper spray caused a stir last month at Occupy Wall Street (and cost him some vacation days), has told colleagues that he "acted with the best intentions" when he sprayed a group of ladies who weren't doing anything at all, and he's been "tortured" ever since.
Michael Pena, the off duty NYPD officer charged with raping a Manhattan woman last Friday night (not to be confused with the on-duty NYPD officers charged with raping a Manhattan woman) allegedly showed a gun, pulled the woman behind an apartment building, and raped her. Police arrived and found him still in the act, drunk, with his gun and badge next to him.
What's worse than going to a rave? Watching a rave in a movie theater, that's what. But even if you felt like spending your Thursday evening in a theater watching people on drugs dance around, it's no longer an option for many. The repercussions from last week's riot in Los Angeles that shut down the premiere of the Electric Daisy Carnival Experience are being felt across the country now, after theaters cancelled more than 500 one-night-only screenings of the film.