The classless douchebag best man who set down his Corona and took a knee to propose marriage to the maid of honor at someone else’s wedding—right in front of the bride and groom—may not be quite as classless as he appeared in the photo that set a thousand mouths afroth earlier this week. His new fiancée is the bride’s sister, and she told the New York Daily News she was the only one in the wedding party who didn’t know what was coming.
Kendall Jenner, professional Kardashian, passed the Turing Test this weekend by leaving a 30 percent tip on an expensive meal, proving herself indistinguishable from an actual human customer. Inexplicably, no one has presented her or her creator, artificial intelligence pioneer Kris Jenner, with a goddamn medal.
I was in the locker room at my gym today and I saw a woman blow-drying her pubic hair with the communal hair dryers. She was trying to be surreptitious about it, but I totally saw her and I was totally grossed out. In the end I didn't say anything to her, but I'm wondering if I should have. Blow-drying your pubes with a communal hair dryer: Is that okay?
About a year ago I moved into an apartment with two other long-haired girls and we made a cleaning schedule to keep everything in order. A few months in, I started getting complaints that when it was my turn to clean the bathroom, I did not remove the hairs that accumulate on the drain. I explained that this was because none of those hairs are actually mine as we all have very different hair colors and I have always had the habit of picking up to throw away my hairs every time I shower. (I also think that they don't clean other things properly but have never said anything because worse than being complained to about petty things is complaining about them). I quickly realized that both roommates were very spoilt and continued to believe that I should clean up after them, so I decided to oblige to their requests and start clearing the drain. Using their toothbrushes.
I made my husband a birthday party and invited his friends and colleagues. I prepared a bunch of my best dishes including a chocolate cake I have perfected for the past 4 years from various recipes. Now let me tell you about the cake: It's perfection, moist, rich and the frosting achieved the delicate balance for it to be delicious to chocoholics and those of us that aren't. Everyone went crazy for it and now my husband asked me to give him my recipe to pass it to the wife of a colleague. Normally I wouldn't mind—I've given my recipes to people in his office—but this lady rubs me off the wrong way. Ever since I met her there's something about her I can't explain that makes me dislike her very much and I can't imagine she cares that much about me given that we have barely spoken and are not even Facebook friends. So now I don't want to give her my recipe since she didn't even bother asking me personally, but my husband says I'm being childish and should just share it. Is that okay?
So there was this girl that I went to high school with, and basically she was/is a homophobic, mouth breathing waste of space that made my life at the time rather miserable. Anywho, recently I was on Grindr (like half my day at work) and I happened upon her still rather handsome/DILF-esque father. I messaged him and we struck up a conversation, although it's pretty obvious he has no idea who I am (though to tell the truth I have been a bit vague about some of the facts). I'm considering banging him, and then disclosing said banging to a few select individuals, knowing it would make its way back to her. Is that okay?