Future U.S. President Sarah Palin shot and killed a majestic caribou right there on her reality teevee show last night. Of course, this was necessary to sustain her family through the harsh Alaskan winter. Take a good look, America.
Dr. Seuss Enterprises is suing a new coal company that calls itself LoraxAG—the objection being that Dr. Seuss wrote the story "The Lorax" to encourage environmentalism, whereas LoraxAG is a fucking coal company. But the president of LoraxAG has a compelling argument of his own: "'The Lorax is the protector of the truffula trees,' he told [a trade publication]. 'We think this is the greenest use of coal.'"
Do you and your mate joust over who is the best environmental person? Have both you and your mate grown so holier-than-thou that you are unable to function in a capacity other than "scold?" Do you find that everyone seems to despise you, including your mate, and your parents, and total strangers who read about you in a NYT trend story? Then you just might be this couple: