How to Get Americans Back to the Movies

Hamilton Nolan · 06/18/12 03:28PM

Oh heck, a new survey says that going to the movies is a "frequent source of entertainment" for only 3% of your fellow Americans. Three dang percent. What the hey are you doing with your time now, Americans? Masturbating? Where, and in what ways? Do you have pictures? That's not the point. The point is that the movies must be saved. But how?

Black People Getting Cable Channels Just as Vapid as White People's Cable Channels

Hamilton Nolan · 02/21/12 10:20AM

When Comcast acquired NBC Universal, part of its deal with the FCC was that it would "launch 10 new independently owned cable channels, with most backed by African Americans and Latinos, by 2018." Well. The first two Black People Channels have been announced. Black people, prepare for a fiesta of cable mediocrity!

Stephen Colbert Spoils Movies, Life in General

Matt Cherette · 09/07/11 12:13AM

In a study released last month, researchers claimed people actually enjoy a story more if they've been given spoilers beforehand. While many are bound to disagree with those findings, Stephen Colbert took to tonight's Report to prove them right. He even extended the theory to everyday life: "Get ready for the granddaddy of all spoilers: You die!" As you'll see in this video, he was just getting started.

Cable Porn's Shrinkage Is Not Temporary

Hamilton Nolan · 08/05/11 10:12AM

Sad news for people who fondly recall childhood nights spent attempting to watch "scrambled" pornography on high-numbered cable channels, a pastime which has afflicted them with a lifelong wavy-bar fetish: the television porn industry is slowly dying. Which is completely predictable and represents nothing more than the logical progress of technology, but still. We thought you'd like to know, what with your... certain predilections.

How Can Oprah Save Her Crappy Network?

Hamilton Nolan · 07/13/11 12:45PM

When Oprah launched her own network earlier this year, the overarching strategic plan for success was: people love anything with Oprah in it for some reason. And yet the network hasn't worked. What needs to be done?

RIAA Would Like to Piss on the Fourth Amendment, Please

Hamilton Nolan · 05/18/11 08:36AM

The villainous Recording Industry Association of America, which loves to sue children for millions of dollars for downloading songs that deprived wealthy entertainers of a penny: what is their latest outrage? Pissing on the U.S. Constitution, naturally.

Robert De Niro Tries, and Fails, to Be Funny at the Golden Globes

Matt Cherette · 01/16/11 10:31PM

Veteran actor Robert De Niro received the Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime achievement at tonight's Golden Globes. It was quite. His awkward, rambling, try-hard acceptance speech—during which he made several off-color jokes, like a drunk uncle—was not.

Watch Ricky Gervais' Extremely Uncomfortable Golden Globes Monologue

Matt Cherette · 01/16/11 08:23PM

Holy wow. Ricky Gervais, the host of tonight's Golden Globes, just opened the show with one of the most unrelentingly harsh and uncomfortable monologues in awards show history—there was even a Tom Cruise/John Travolta gay joke! Watch inside.

What Was Up with Jennifer Aniston at the People's Choice Awards?

Matt Cherette · 01/06/11 02:42AM

Last night, Queen Latifah hosted the 37th Annual People's Choice Awards. The first presenter of the night was Jennifer Aniston. Immediately after Aniston took the stage, something seemed... off. Was she tired? Did Angelina Jolie spike her drink? Watch inside.

Enrique Iglesias' New Music Video Is Basically a Softcore Porno

Matt Cherette · 12/22/10 09:27PM

In the music video for Enrique Iglesias' new single, "Tonight (I'm Fuckin' You)," he woos sexual conquests with, "Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but tonight I'm fuckin' you." And he does. Lots! The NSFW video, inside.

A Look Back at 25 Years of Larry King Live

Matt Cherette · 12/16/10 04:49PM

As you may (should) know, tonight marks the final episode of Larry King Live after more than 25 years on CNN. To prepare yourself for this momentous occasion, why not watch this handy video recap! And try not to cry.