It Took Basically a Whole Town to Salvage This Incompetent Marriage Proposal

Jay Hathaway · 08/27/15 10:30AM

This is how a proposal is supposed to go in Southport, N.C.: You head down to that fish bar by the water Saturday night, and take a walk on the dock with your girlfriend. “Hey, is that your mom?” she wonders, “What’s she doing here?” She turns around and you’re already on one knee, deftly whipping out the box containing your future fiancée’s engagement ring. Smooth. Flawless. But that’s not how it went for Matthew Picca, age 25.

Caity Weaver · 03/04/13 05:50PM

Jamie Lynn Spears is engaged and her big-ass diamond has a little fuzzy on it in this photo. Mind your jewels, Jamie.

Your Giant Engagement Ring Looks Fucking Stupid, Jennifer Aniston

Drew Magary · 10/08/12 03:15PM

Oh hey, here's a picture of Jennifer Aniston rocking a zillion-carat engagement ring that her fiance, Justin Theroux, "gave" her. Though I assume Aniston bought the ring herself six years ago and stashed it in a safety deposit box until the day she finally found a man who could properly pull off being dressed like a 1930s fighter pilot. This is a big rock. A huge rock. A very expensive, obnoxious, stupid fucking rock.

Miley Cyrus Is Actually Engaged For Real This Time

Leah Beckmann · 06/06/12 08:55AM

Like other good former Disney stars before her, Miley Cyrus has gone and gotten herself engaged to second best Hemsworth brother, Liam. After dating for three years (and a few false alarms), reps for the pair confirm that they got engaged on May 31 when Liam lowered himself down on one knee and bestowed upon his 19-year-old child bride a 3.5-carat diamond ring from Neil Lane.

Brad and Angelina Are Engaged

Maureen O'Connor · 04/13/12 01:08PM

The most famous unwed parents in America may soon wed, The Hollywood Reporter reports. After Angelina Jolie was photographed with a giant diamond on her ring finger, jeweler Robert Procop confirmed that he "did indeed design an engagement ring for Angelina Jolie, designed in collaboration with Brad Pitt." So either they're engaged, or Angie is playing a cruel joke on every tabloid magazine on the planet. [THR]

Alec Baldwin Is Engaged to His Yoga Instructor Girlfriend

Leah Beckmann · 04/02/12 11:03AM

The perpetually opining eldest Baldwin brother proposed to 28-year-old girlfriend, Hilaria Thomas just before his 54th birthday this weekend. Thomas is the sexxxy Spanish yoga instructor to Baldwin's rich, handsome, celebrity, because sometimes life happens exactly the way you think it will. The couple has yet to set a date but we wish them well.

Pregnant Snooki Is Also Engaged

Brian Moylan · 03/05/12 12:20PM

Just like a Us Weekly cover story in super fast motion, Snooki is not only pregnant but she is also engaged. It's all the life milestones at once! Then why is she being so cagey about it?

David Cross and Amber Tamblyn Are Engaged

Maureen O'Connor · 08/17/11 02:55PM

Apparently David Cross and Amber Tamblyn are together? And have been, since 2009? And plan to stay that way, for the rest of their lives? Life & Style reports that the 47-year-old Arrested Development actor and 28-year-old Traveling Pants enthusiast have been engaged "for weeks." Congratulations to happy stealth couple! [L&S, images via Getty]

Mark Zuckerberg Is Engaged, According to Bill Gates

Max Read · 06/12/11 02:52PM

Mazel tov to Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and his longtime girlfriend, med student Priscilla "Cilla" Chan, who are engaged! According to Bill Gates, at least, who seemed to let the news slip during an interview with The Daily Mail: