Sensitive Toddler Gets Choked Up Over an Emotional Cartoon

Jay Hathaway · 11/13/14 09:56AM

This little girl, who's now destined for Ellen or something, was overcome with feelings watching the Chipettes (the '80s female version of Alvin and the Chipmunks) reunite a lost baby penguin with her family.

Sobbing Kids Reunite With Their Lost Cat After Two Months

Jay Hathaway · 10/23/14 03:07PM

Maddy the cat went missing two months ago, but her family never entirely gave up hope that she might come home. And then, this: Mom spotted the beloved 13-year-old pet wandering around near a gas station and brought her home for a surprise reunion with the kids.

Scientists Label 15 New Emotions, Want to Make Robots With Them

Hazel Cills · 04/05/14 11:50AM

Previously, the only scientifically identified basic human emotions were happy, sad, fearful, angry, surprised, and disgusted. In a new study published in the journal PNAS, scientists have added 15 new "compound" emotions to that list, which were created by making different combinations of the six basic emotions. Now, you can feel such exciting new sensations as "fearfully surprised" or "sadly disgusted!"

Science Proves That Teenagers Don't Give a Damn About Anyone

Hamilton Nolan · 10/16/13 08:42AM

There is not one demographic group, including current prison inmates, more sociopathic than teenagers. The average 15 year-old private school student is more naturally inclined to antisocial acts than the average member of the Shabaab. Don't take my word for it—let a scientist tell you.

"Resilient" People Are Actually Just High

Hamilton Nolan · 10/10/13 03:42PM

Some people are noted for having a good deal of resilience—being able to deal with the traumas of life with equanimity and nobility, bouncing back ever stronger after tribulations. Yeah... more like they're a bunch of god damn junkies, according to science.

Every Comedian Was Right: Women Are Happy When Men Are Miserable

Caity Weaver · 03/08/12 10:03PM

Hey there, men. There are only a couple hours left of International Women's Day, but, if you've yet to pick up something nice for your special lady, you still have time to give her what she really wants: the gift of your sweet, sweet tears.

Happy People Live Longer

Max Read · 03/04/11 02:26AM

You know what rules about being happy? Besides not ever staying up till three in the morning wondering if it's even morally right to bring a child into the world, at this point? This is what rules about happiness: You live longer! And you're healthier! Yes, a review of more than a hundred studies confirms: Happy people have every right to be smug, the bastards.

Was Obama Angry Enough on Larry King?

Adrian Chen · 06/03/10 09:14PM

Every Washington pundit-type wants Obama to be more emotional about this damn oil spill. Most people want him to be angrier. Obama has told them he is "angry and frustrated," already. But they do not want him just to be angry. They need him to express that anger. CBS White House correspondent Chip Reid, when told by Press Secretary Robert Gibbs that Obama is mad, asked "Can you describe it? Does he yell and scream? What does he do?" Yeah, like, does he chase Rahm Emanuel around the West Wing with a decorative samurai sword? What does he do?

Your Dog Might Actually Be Able to Smile

Max Read · 05/13/10 03:18PM

Scientists believe that most animals show emotions through facial expressions, just like humans—which means maybe your dog can smile. How did they come to this conclusion? The same way all scientists come to all conclusions: By torturing mice.

Emotionally Unstable Woman Weeps at Every Movie

Richard Lawson · 02/03/10 01:39PM

The whole thing is supposed to be adorable, and it is, sorta. In the same kind of funny/sad way that this video was cute but also quietly unsettling. Though the husband assures us in the site's FAQs section that his wife is perfectly mentally fit and doesn't bawl uncontrollably at everything in life, just silly movies, we just don't know, man. This lady is a liiiittle wacky. What happens when she watches, like, Night and Fog? Does her face just fall off? Another scary fact: Apparently she "used to cry at the end of The Little Mermaid when she was 4." So this person is 25-years-old, tops. Unless the guy's talking about the weird Richard Chamberlain version where she turns to sea foam at the end. Is that the one? We doubt that's the one. Point being: What happens when she has kids? This, we guess.