The celebration of the year of our Lord Tayla's birth continued yesterday on the Ellen show, when T. Swift dropped by to promote 1989 and tell everyone her deepest, darkest fear. "I'm scared of being framed," she said, in the voice of someone who's certainly not covering up multiple murders as we speak.
The misery of Liza Minnelli stretches into yet another agonizing day. Paparazzi caught up with the living legend in West Hollywood (where else?) on Monday night, and a cameraman asked her what she thought about Ellen DeGeneres' Oscars joke at Liza's expense. ("Hello to the best Liza Minnelli impersonator I've ever seen," DeGeneres said from the stage to Minnelli in the audience during the opening monologue. "Good job, sir." The internet being the internet wondered if this was transphobic.)
Question: Why won't Kanye West let himself be great? Answer: Kim Kardashian.
As if these photos of Colin Powell cutting a rug—pursed lips conveying his boogie-woogie seriousness in one; hands-on-hips stance indicating he may be contemplating a hernia-inducing squat dance in another—weren't uncomfortable enough, now we have approximately 20 digital-video seconds of the former secretary of state grooving out to a Daft Punk song about staying up all night for the nookie. Also, included: Pharrell's croon, Katie Holmes Doing the Shoulders, and a full-club karaoke singalong. The Hamptons will embarrass you every time.
Yesterday was Portia de Rossi's 40th birthday. So on her daytime talk show today, Ellen DeGeneres paid tribute to her wife of four years.
The hilarious Rebel Wilson, who has seemingly taken Hollywood by storm since her scene-stealing role in Bridesmaids, appeared on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" today to promote her new film Pitch Perfect. Spoiler alert: I already saw it, it's fantastic.
Liam Neeson didn't show his legendary celebrity big dick (Janice Dickinson has compared it to an Evian bottle) on Ellen yesterday, but he came closer than usual. In the name of breast cancer charity slash Taken 2 awareness, he stripped down to show his own chesticles and the result was an almost-nude 60-year-old who looked like an almost-nude 60-year-old.
Veronica Mars survivor Kristen Bell was on Dancing with the Degeneres this afternoon and shared a videotape of her first meeting with a sloth. She freaked the fuck out. Apparently she has loved sloths her whole life, and when her fiance, comedian Dax Shepard, went to introduce her to the hairy couch potato, she absolutely lost her shit.