Jobs That Exist: Eagle Inspector

Caity Weaver · 04/25/12 08:12PM

According to today's Reuters story about eagle inspections by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, if there's one thing the U.S. needs, it's more dead-but-not-rotten eagles.

Giant Eagles 'Could Target Children'

Maureen O'Connor · 09/02/11 01:48PM

The Scottish government recently imported 14 sea eagles from Norway, to reintroduce the giant bird of prey into the wilds of Scotland. Unfortunately, they chose areas not quite wild enough, according to the Scottish Gamekeepers Association, which is calling for an inquiry into the feathered monsters with wingspans of up to eight feet:

Yes, Human-on-Bird CPR Works

Max Read · 07/16/11 02:47PM

Haven't you always wondered if mouth-to-beak resuscitation—"bird CPR"—would actually work? Well! We can confirm that, yes, in at least one instance it has: Bend, Ore. veterinarian Jeff Cooney saved a bald eagle (named, boringly, "Patriot") this week by performing CPR on it. Patriot, whom Dr. Cooney is rehabilitating from an apparent car accident, was under anesthesia at the time; KTVZ provides the image above, though we're not sure if the photograph is a staged re-creation of the event or an actual action shot of the heroic lifesaving attempt. Either way, it's good to know that, in the event that you come across a dying bird, you may have a shot at saving its life. [KTVZ]

This Eagle-Killing Pilot is No Captian Sully

Tom Dobrowolski · 08/09/10 02:54PM

Captain Steve may have saved these peoples' lives but don't expect him to become an overnight American hero. He did manage to kill our threatened national symbol in the process. Captain Sully is not impressed.

Bush Also Pardons Eagle-Killer

Pareene · 11/25/08 09:51AM

In 1996, Leslie Owen Collier pleaded guilty to killing three bald eagles. Naturally, President Bush has just pardoned him. Back in 1995, Collier, some sort of rabble-rousing anarchist farmer, crushed pesticides into delicious hamburger meat and left it outside to kill any adorable little animals that might cross his path. Naturally, after killing a red-tailed hawk, a great horned owl, an opossum, and a raccoon, three majestic Bald Eagles partook in some left-over poison hamburger, and promptly died. The Bald Eagle is our nation's bold fresh mascot, like the Pillsbury Doughboy of not getting tread upon. Naturally, the eagle was nearly extinct within 200 years of the founding of our nation, and it's been a crime to "kill" them since the 1940s. Why would Bush pardon this cold-blooded freedom-killer? Well! According to an anti-American "natural history" site hosted on Canadian servers, the Bald Eagle is not so much of a majestic predator, swooping down and pecking to death our nation's many enemies, but really more of a lazy scavenger, subsisting mainly on "what it finds cast onto the shore." So the Bald Eagle is the Original Lazy Welfare Queen of the Skies, which is why Bush pardoned this brave hero.

Kid Rock has a hit without iTunes

Paul Boutin · 08/28/08 12:00PM

"All Summer Long" is one catchy tune. Built on the groove of the late Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London," spiced up with Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama," the song nonetheless soars on Robert James Ritchie's down-homey delivery of one of the best ballads to hit the airwaves in years. I've heard it on Top 40, country and classic rock stations in the past week. Kid Rock's album, Rock 'n Roll Jesus, is now at #2 on Billboard's chart. All this without iTunes. Why on earth would record labels withhold an album from America's largest music retailer?There's no one big reason. This WSJ report lists several: