Whose Rich Drunk Racist Wife Is This?

Sam Biddle · 01/22/15 11:35AM

Arlene's Grocery is a longstanding Manhattan music venue that hosts a variety of rock and punk acts from around the country. It's also the employer of a "Hawaiian Asian monster," according to this tipster-supplied voicemail from an extremely shitfaced patron with a very important husband.

"Wow," Shouts Man Trying to Fuck a Mailbox at the Mall

Jay Hathaway · 01/16/15 09:45AM

A 45-year-old British man pleaded guilty to indecent exposure and abusive behavior after he was caught drunkenly making sexual advances toward "a postbox in the middle of a shopping arcade."

Thatz Not Okay: Can I Fuck My High School Enemy's Dad?

Caity Weaver · 03/31/14 11:00AM

So there was this girl that I went to high school with, and basically she was/is a homophobic, mouth breathing waste of space that made my life at the time rather miserable. Anywho, recently I was on Grindr (like half my day at work) and I happened upon her still rather handsome/DILF-esque father. I messaged him and we struck up a conversation, although it's pretty obvious he has no idea who I am (though to tell the truth I have been a bit vague about some of the facts). I'm considering banging him, and then disclosing said banging to a few select individuals, knowing it would make its way back to her. Is that okay?

Lacey Donohue · 01/01/14 11:14AM

In need of a hangover cure? Try greasy breakfast food, wheatgrass, Pedialyte, exercise, Alka-Seltzer, Netflix, sleeping all day, crying in the shower, or Sprite. And next year, try a little self control.

Katy Perry & Robert Pattinson's Drunk Karoke Video Is Your Weekend Jam

Caity Weaver · 10/25/13 04:11PM

For whatever reason, this video of an apparently sloshed Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry performing Boyz II Men karaoke staple "I'll Make Love to You" at a friend's birthday in December 2008 surfaced on the Internet today, nearly five years later. The performance is pretty atrocious (also entertaining in the way closed circuit video of drunk celebrities crawling into one another's laps can't help but be), but, then, neither of them is known for being a particularly good singer.

Lacey Donohue · 10/14/13 07:49PM

According to a new survey, 20 percent of adults living in New York City are binge drinkers.

MIT Frat's Beer-Pong Table Is the Nerd-Broiest Thing in Nerd Broville

Camille Dodero · 10/11/13 03:10PM

Nerd Broville, a mesh-shorted seaside town with Call of Duty casinos and a high-speed party monorail, has a new Mayor. His name is Christian Reed, he's a member of MIT's Phi Beta Epsilon fraternity, and he has solved a problem that's plagued nerd bros for eons: the sticky balls (heh) and constant spillage (heh heh) that come along with those long, arduous nights of Olympic beer-pong feats.

Why Is This Man Smiling? He's Very Drunk.

Camille Dodero · 09/26/13 10:52AM

Monday was not the best day of David Marshall's life. By six p.m., the 38-year-old from Jonesboro, Arkansas was so obliterated that he'd passed out in an apartment-complex parking lot and the neighbors had to call the cops. This was not a good reason to smile. So what was?

Gabrielle Bluestone · 07/05/13 04:00PM

Happy four-day-weekend y'all. Six of eight drivers involved in an eight-car pileup in Atlanta this morning are being charged with DUIs after the crash. The first car struck a pedestrian (who is being charged with walking in a roadway), but thankfully there were no fatalities.

Drunk Pilot Lets Drunk Passenger Steer, Everyone Dies

Caity Weaver · 06/10/13 01:28PM

Drunk people are good at lots of things. They are good at ordering drinks. They are good at cajoling other drunk people into dares. They are good at chasing adventure. They are good at combining all three of these talents to work in frenetic, exciting concert. They are less good at piloting helicopters.

John Cook · 06/05/13 09:06AM

In 1956, a drunken patron at a Manhattan bar departed to New Jersey, stole an airplane, flew it to New York City, and landed it in front of the bar on St. Nicholas Ave. He was fined $100. Two years later, he did it again.

Feds Say You're Drunk Driving At .05%

Ken Layne · 05/14/13 11:42AM

From the 21-year-old drinking age to the .08% blood alcohol level now recognized nationwide as evidence of being drunk, the threat of losing federal highway funds has kept America's states from straying on booze laws. So get ready for the .05% drunken driving conviction.