Drunk Pilot Lets Drunk Passenger Steer, Everyone Dies

Caity Weaver · 06/10/13 01:28PM

Drunk people are good at lots of things. They are good at ordering drinks. They are good at cajoling other drunk people into dares. They are good at chasing adventure. They are good at combining all three of these talents to work in frenetic, exciting concert. They are less good at piloting helicopters.

'Hipster IHOP' Hires Bouncer to Defend Itself from Drunken Youths

Richard Lawson · 09/21/11 02:34PM

A new IHOP pancake depot is soon to open in Manhattan's East Village, the downtown epicenter of NYU kids and other tight-jeaned menaces. Management is expecting such a deluge of late-night customers streaming in from the bar-heavy neighborhood that they've hired security.

Drug Stores Finally Marketing to the Beer Pong and Drunken Hook-Up Demographic

Brian Moylan · 09/20/11 03:39PM

It's such a hassle to go to the drug store and search all the aisles for beer, ping-pong balls, and condoms so that you can get wasted, play beer pong, and then have a regretful, half-flaccid hookup with some poor someone. Now one drug store is putting them all together for your convenience.

The Hypnotic Hilarity of a Woman Falling Down in the Ocean

Brian Moylan · 05/10/11 12:57PM

There is nothing funnier than watching people fall down. Here's a woman who falls down again and again while trying to get out of the ocean. Add the pummeling of the waves, and you have a comedy classic. Yes, I hate myself a little bit for laughing so much at a poor woman who is either drunk, ill, or so uncoordinated that she mustn't leave the house very often. But you have to admit it's funny. And, yes, you will watch the whole three minutes. How could you not? You can't cut out early or you might miss another fall—and another laugh.

Wild Goose Chase Ends Poorly

Hamilton Nolan · 10/11/10 03:17PM

Wausau, Wisconsin police arrested a 40 year-old man who "plunged into the Wisconsin River while chasing a one-legged goose." He told police he "wanted to catch the bird and roast it." He'd reportedly "been drinking heavily before the stunt." [Pic]

Drunk Girls Make Inadvertent Love to Some Concrete

Matt Cherette · 08/27/10 12:52PM

Drunk people do stupid things. And they're so creative with their stupidity! Like in this video, which shows a bunch of drunk girls riding in a shopping cart/faceplanting on the street. The best part? The narrator's quote at the end.