Atlanta Public Schools fired a sixth grade teacher this week for playing her class Beyoncé and Jay Z's eternal classic, "Drunk in Love." According to the administrators' complaint against Ms. Nikki Turner, "This song contained profanity, vulgarity, and sexually explicit lyrics. This song is not [in] alignment with Teacher Keys Standard 9, Professionalism." Blah blah blah, surf-boring, this is bullshit.
This adorable, confusingly sexy video of Beyoncé apparently chatting on stage with her daughter Blue Ivy during a dress rehearsal for her Grammy performance of "Drunk in Love" leaked online sometime earlier today. Sample dialogue: "Surfboard! Hi mommy!"
Did you see the Grammys on Sunday? It doesn't matter if you didn't or if your fingers suddenly just spontaneously broke, rendering you unable to Google or click anything and forcing you to stay on this very page. Who needs Beyoncé's show-stopping opening number when you can watch Vin Diesel's rendition of the same song? Watch him walk, watch him stand, watch him move his body like a toddler with a full diaper. Watch him lip synch not for his life, but for yours.