Cops Drag Sad, Drunk Cyclist Away From Taco Bell Drive-Thru at 3 a.m.

Jay Hathaway · 11/19/14 12:18PM

In his strangely poetic mugshot, Gabriel Harris of New Smyrna Beach, Fla., appears to be the saddest man in the world, wracked with a deep and abiding pain we can hardly begin to comprehend. But was he upset at his arrest, or at being dragged away empty-handed from Taco Bell at 3 a.m.? Either seems pretty plausible when you're drunk.

Drunk Guy Claims His Dog Drove Him to the Store

Andy Cush · 07/03/14 01:55PM

Wesley Mark Terrell, a 60-year-old man from Oconee County, Georgia, had a perfectly reasonable explanation when cops asked him about the dog that was locked inside his car on a recent 99-degree day.

This Drunk Guy Trying to Climb a Fence Is a Metaphor for Life

Jay Hathaway · 04/14/14 03:19PM

We've all been there: stuck in a futile, seemingly intractable situation and about to give up hope, when suddenly someone shows us we've been approaching the problem the wrong way. Or actually drunk and trying to climb an actual fence. Happens to everybody.

Katy Perry & Robert Pattinson's Drunk Karoke Video Is Your Weekend Jam

Caity Weaver · 10/25/13 04:11PM

For whatever reason, this video of an apparently sloshed Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry performing Boyz II Men karaoke staple "I'll Make Love to You" at a friend's birthday in December 2008 surfaced on the Internet today, nearly five years later. The performance is pretty atrocious (also entertaining in the way closed circuit video of drunk celebrities crawling into one another's laps can't help but be), but, then, neither of them is known for being a particularly good singer.

Man Steals Ambulance and 2 Cars, Tries But Fails to Steal 2 Horses

Jordan Sargent · 01/30/13 12:31AM

As you slip into bed tonight wondering how you spent another night watching television for six hours, think about the other types of fun you could be having. Like, for instance, getting hammered and stealing multiple vehicles, including an ambulance and two cars. And also trying to steal two horses. Definitely trying to steal two horses.