In his strangely poetic mugshot, Gabriel Harris of New Smyrna Beach, Fla., appears to be the saddest man in the world, wracked with a deep and abiding pain we can hardly begin to comprehend. But was he upset at his arrest, or at being dragged away empty-handed from Taco Bell at 3 a.m.? Either seems pretty plausible when you're drunk.
Sometimes the meandering course of one's #winning finds one drunk and craving Taco Bell of an evening, so one does the natural thing and has Gary fire up the car and take one's hammered ass to the drive-thru.
We've all been there: stuck in a futile, seemingly intractable situation and about to give up hope, when suddenly someone shows us we've been approaching the problem the wrong way. Or actually drunk and trying to climb an actual fence. Happens to everybody.
For whatever reason, this video of an apparently sloshed Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry performing Boyz II Men karaoke staple "I'll Make Love to You" at a friend's birthday in December 2008 surfaced on the Internet today, nearly five years later. The performance is pretty atrocious (also entertaining in the way closed circuit video of drunk celebrities crawling into one another's laps can't help but be), but, then, neither of them is known for being a particularly good singer.
Budget negotiations at the U.N. are probably boring, drawn-out affairs, and as such, delegates apparently have a tradition of having a drink or two before the meetings begin. But according to Joseph Torsella, the U.S. ambassador for management and reform at the United Nations, certain delegates have been showing up completely wasted to recent negotiations.
As you slip into bed tonight wondering how you spent another night watching television for six hours, think about the other types of fun you could be having. Like, for instance, getting hammered and stealing multiple vehicles, including an ambulance and two cars. And also trying to steal two horses. Definitely trying to steal two horses.
A 22-year-old college student in Rhode Island learned the hard way that, while you can get away with a lot of dumb drunken shit in college, what you absolutely cannot do is defy basic physics and do something like run through an eight-inch wide alley. For reasons that escape even her, Courtney Malloy attempted just such a feat and, of course, got stuck.