So there was this girl that I went to high school with, and basically she was/is a homophobic, mouth breathing waste of space that made my life at the time rather miserable. Anywho, recently I was on Grindr (like half my day at work) and I happened upon her still rather handsome/DILF-esque father. I messaged him and we struck up a conversation, although it's pretty obvious he has no idea who I am (though to tell the truth I have been a bit vague about some of the facts). I'm considering banging him, and then disclosing said banging to a few select individuals, knowing it would make its way back to her. Is that okay?
"Still, there's a general sense that the drugs of choice for writers now are more often little blue pills than big brown bottles," writes Adam Gopnik, adding "(You can take the pill, and then send the kids to school.)" So those little blue pills would be, uh... Viagra? Valium? Please don't let it be Viagra.
Alcohol plays a large role in everyone's life. We use it to clean our many wounds, and we add certain percentages of the stuff to our gasoline, within certain states where that's required by regulations. Some of us even drink alcohol, for pleasure or otherwise. But you can count me out of that last group. For all of this year, so far, I have been "on the wagon."
This past June, Maryland Attorney General Douglas Gansler walked into a party full of drunk teenagers dancing on Skoal can-covered beer pong tables in Bethany Beach, Delaware. But did he, as Maryland's most powerful legal authority and a candidate for governor, do anything to stop it? Nope. He just found his teenage son, asked him a question, and left.
The federal government might be shut down but Michigan lawmakers are hard at work protecting our right to a good value. Rep. David Knezek (D-Dearborn Heights) and Rep. Brandon Dillon (D-Grand Rapids) have written a proposal to amend the state Liquor Control Act to make sure that when a pint of beer is offered at a bar or restaurant, customers are getting an “honest pint.”
One of America's strangest educational rituals—assessing which of our nation's fucked-up college students get the most fucked up—is upon us again. And this year, Iowa City's University of Iowa has been picked by the Princeton Review as the drunkest and raging-est institute of higher learning the United States has to offer. Congratulations, U of I! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!