An Engineering Student Got So Drunk, He Doesn't Remember Designing a Sweet Plane

Jay Hathaway · 09/08/15 05:24PM

An unnamed Michigan Tech student who’s been giving interviews under the alias “Mark” got blackout drunk Friday night and stumbled home to his roommate. This would hardly be news—Mark puts his pants on one leg at a time and drinks to sloppy excess just like the rest of us—but when Mark puts his pants on and drinks to sloppy excess, he designs entire fucking airplanes.

Bar Owner Charged With Manslaughter for Letting Customer Take 56 Shots

Jay Hathaway · 05/06/15 04:00PM

The owner of a French bar is facing charges of “manslaughter by willful neglect” after a patron took 56 shots of liquor in one night to break the establishment’s posted record. The 57-year-old drinking champ later died at home of a heart attack, and his daughter says the bar owner had been cheering him on.

Football Fan Passes Out, Wakes Up With $900 Uber Bill

Jay Hathaway · 01/05/15 05:41PM

An Ole Miss football fan, apparently sorrowfully tired and perhaps a bit blotto after the team's loss to Texas Christian University in the Peach Bowl last week, decided to call Uber, the official car service of Capitalism™, for a ride home from the game. No big deal, except that the game was in Atlanta, and this Ole Miss fan lived in, as you might expect, Mississippi. He woke up to find he'd paid Uber $908 for the lift to his bed.

Drunken Idiot Tries to Pedal Bike Mounted on Storefront

Jay Hathaway · 12/30/14 02:35PM

At the urging of a "friend," this presumably inebriated definitely idiot attempted to scale the half-bicycle mounted 12 feet up—for decorative purposes only, it should be emphasized—on the façade of RV&E Bikes in Canandaigua, New York. You already know what happened next.

Who Drives the Alcohol Industry? Alcoholics

Hamilton Nolan · 09/26/14 08:35AM

Based upon beer and liquor company advertising, you might imagine that the US booze industry primarily sells its products to suave, attractive 20-somethings on the beach. In fact, it primarily sells its products to alcoholics.

Bearded Welsh Hero Drinks Entire Bottle of Jack in 15 Seconds

Jay Hathaway · 09/04/14 03:40PM

Meet the new King of Wales, Will Williams. He recently consumed an entire bottle of Jack Daniel's in just shy of 15 seconds, which, I'm given to understand, entitles him to some kind of sword-in-the-stone style claim on the monarchy that supersedes the current hereditary system. And makes Wales independent, for some reason. Congratulations/sorry, Wales!

Guy Finds His Wife Drunkenly Making "Grilled Cheeses" at 2:30 a.m.

Jay Hathaway · 08/07/14 02:50PM

The ostensible story behind this video is that a man heard his wife coming home in the middle of the night and recorded her "making grilled cheeses" by melting string cheese over a plateful of goldfish crackers while swigging wine and insisting she's not drunk.

Scottish Mayor Resigns After Being Banned From Each of Town's 36 Pubs

Andy Cush · 07/15/14 02:00PM

That stately looking fellow above is Wayne Ronayne, former mayor of Gosport, Scotland. Yesterday, he stepped down from the position after he and his wife were banned from every single one of the town's 36 pubs. Ronayne held the mayoralty for just 40 days before his resignation.