Rapping. The woman who wrote "Jolene," "I Will Always Love You," several dead-baby jams in the early part of her career, and the rhythm of "9 to 5" on her nails, is turning a new musical corner and rapping. In a white afro. On the talk show of a woman who was once among the greatest rappers of her time.
Here's a trailer for Joyful Noise, the new church choir movie (yes) that stars Queen Latifah (yes!) and Dolly Parton (yessssssss!). So basically this is the buchest, straightest movie of the year!
Country music legend/plastic doll Dolly Parton turns 64 today. Chef and TV personality Paula Deen is turning 63. Drea de Matteo (The Sopranos) is 38. Katey Sagal (Married with Children) is 56. Investigative TV journalist Martin Bashir is turning 47. Investing legend Peter Lynch turns 66. Photographer Cindy Sherman is turning 56. Eric Mangini, the former coach of the Jets, is 39. Former Knicks coach Jeff Van Gundy is 48. Comedian Shawn Wayans turns 39. Former Full House cast member Jodie Sweetin is turning 28. And Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson celebrates her 18th birthday today.
• Heidi Klum and Seal have a new addition to the family: Lou Sulola, who was born on Friday night and joins siblings Johan, Henry, and Leni. [People]
• Tyra Banks ought to be in a good mood today. Not only has she dropped four dress sizes recently, she's been named the "top-earning primetime TV star" by Forbes thanks to the $30 million she's collected over the past year. [Daily Mail, MSNBC]
• The latest legal tiff between Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook is over: The couple has settled their dispute, which means neither of them will be heading off to jail. [People]
• Was Penelope Cruz sporting a giant sapphire and diamond ring the other night because she really is engaged to Javier Bardem? And did she wear a bulky sweater over her dress because she's pregnant? So many questions, so few answers. Sigh. [P6, NYDN]
· We leave you today with a Defamer PSA emphasizing the perils facing anyone who dares so much as hint at the irrelevance of Dolly Parton. [NBC] · Credit where credit is due, even if it goes to Tom O'Neil: The awards freak changed his Dramatic Emmy prediction for best actor to Bryan Cranston last Friday. [Gold Derby] · Whoops! We take it all back: O'Neil actually bothered to report that Ricky Gervais and Steve Carell prearranged their Emmy "stunt" before the broadcast. [Gold Derby] · Because three Tyler Perry films per year aren't enough, the filmmaker/mogul has launched a new shingle to develop movies for both other directors and new, alternate actors who can play Madea. [Variety] · Warner Bros. lost its litigious warm-up for next year's Watchmen trial, failing to convince an Indian court that the film Hari Putter: A Comedy of Terrors infringed on its Harry Potter franchise. [NYT] · "The vomit shot out of Megan Fox like water from a geyser." Being a little hard on Diablo Cody's dialogue there, aren't you, John Horn? [LAT]
What do you call a party with a huge proportion of women with huge proportions, bleached blond hair and garish makeup? If you picked: "Just Another Night in Hollywood," or "Just Another Night at the Strip Club," or "Just Another Night in My Bedroom," take a number and go to the back of the line. Rather, the party in question —held at the appropriately named World of Wonder gallery on Hollywood Boulevard— was for a very specific, large-proportioned, bleached-blond beauty. No, not Jenna Jameson. This would be someone with actual talent, not to mention a huge gay following. OK, fine, I'll tell you. Dolly Parton! Co-curated by E! Online columnist Marc Malkin and Steven Corfe, the Dollypop exhibition featured over 40 artists, all of whom answered their call for Dolly art with a certain fervor. "We were actually surprised actually how responsive people were when we just told them, 'Dolly Parton,'" said Steve. "There's a lot of closet Dolly fans out there." Of course, an event such as this inspires people to pay homage. So, it was appropriate that we were greeted by a Dolly Door Girl. Inside, we were seeing double and triple Dolly's. There were even look-a-likes for other celebrities who seemed to have gotten lost. There was a Rick James look-a-like, and a Sophia Loren dead ringer that had us completely confused for five minutes. James St. James interviewed some of them for his show on WOW TV. (I thought I was hallucinating and seeing New York club kid Richie Rich's body double, and then, realized OMG, it kind of was Richie Rich's body double!) No detail went unnoticed. Pink champagne (what else?) was served. Some guy with a contraption on his head was hanging out and taking in the Dolly art. [Ed. Note - That's the TMZ "Dollhouse Dude".]
Though 9 to 5: The Musical recently opened at the Ahmanson here in Los Angeles, the first public performance wasn't exactly glitch-free. At one point, two automated set pieces got stuck, prompting an impromptu curtain to come down for thirty minutes while technicians fixed the problem. Sound like a disaster? Not quite, since Dolly Parton herself leapt from her set to entertain the crowd, singing impromptu versions of "9 to 5" and "I Will Always Love You." Of the latter song, she cracked, "OK, so I don't sound as good as Whitney, but I make more money off that song than she does." Dolly, you'll make even more money off 9 to 5: The Musical if you can promise a shutdown like that every night. Clip above. [WoW Report]
You know when you get really hungry and you're just dying for a delicious, rich, chocolatey piece of... Allen Grubman? Yes, indeed, you can pick up a slice of "Allen Grubman Double Chocolate Pudding Pie" at the tourist trap the Brooklyn Diner on West 57th Street. (It happens to be a block from Grubman's office.) Here are a few other dishes named after local boldface names.
Click to viewWe really take no pleasure in informing you that two of our idols—early tickle-machine adopter Howard Stern and top-heavy country legend Dolly Parton—are currently at war, but such is the case. To get you up to date, last week, Stern broadcast edited portions of her self-narrated audio book to form several beyond-filthy phrases. (Like, seriously: NSFW. This is the kind of stuff you imagine hearing at a 4 a.m. "Aristocrats" session around Bob Saget's jacuzzi after a night of Tuaca shots and blow. As such, it's hilarious.) Parton has had a listen, and released this statement in response:
Oh lawd! The Dolly Parton 9 to 5 Broadway musical is becoming more and more real. Allison Janney has been cast in the Lily Tomlin part while the rest of the cast is made up of beloved Broadway folk (Stephanie J. Block of the unfortunate Pirate Queen and Marc Kudisch of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and other crap, among others). Dolly has written "85%" of the score herself. In just two weeks! While eating snacks! Here you come again, Dolly. [EW]
National treasure Dolly Parton, who only recently acted as unwitting guardian angel to a seemingly hopeless American Idol contestant, has postponed her upcoming tour for back trouble caused by years of supporting her trademark rack. It's perhaps a slightly risqué topic for a family wire service like Reuters, but we think their headline tackles the material with just the right amount of tact. The breasts had no comment.