During the greatest sociological experiment of our time, we've seen our eight subjects in their natural habitat in New Jersey, in their adopted homes of Miami and Florence, but never have we seen them actually interact with, you know, nature. There is a reason for that.
Something serious and sad is threatening the greatest sociological experiment of our time: couples. Yes, it seems like everyone is paired up and Snooki is even expecting Jersey Shore's first virgin birth. Haha. Just kidding. Snooki's no virgin. And Situation got Vinny pregnant when he touched the smush bed anyway. That was the first.
Finally, the members of the greatest sociological experiment of our time forage for their own food, and they promptly caught crabs. No, the actual crustaceans. They did not contract a horrible case of pubic lice, though they did make lots of jokes about it. The guidos never change.
Yes the major event of the most important sociological experiment of our time had to do with cake. Who ate the cake? Remember when our subjects used to crawl in the hot tub and vomit on themselves?
The favorite food of many people who enjoy the greatest sociological experiment of our time is, of course, a meatball sandwich. We love when Snooki and Deena get together, even if what they're doing is stupid, immature, and somewhat immoral.
Oh the harm that can befall a guidette during the greatest sociological experiment of our time. Sure she can't be sullied by reputation, but there are still horrible fates than can befall her, like the intractable tangle of her weave. And that was just the start of last night's disasters.
Last night during the greatest sociological experiment of our time, we had to deal with the most threatening psychological illness of our time: anxiety. Yes, Vinny, of the carefree manner and enormous schlong, was dealing with a crippling case of ennui.
Just like everything else about her nuptials, it seems like Kim Kardashian jumped the gun ordering her holiday cards with her wedding photo on them. Kristen Wiig is hanging out in her undies. Katy Perry is not pregnant. Paz de la Huerta ruined the ending of Boardwalk Empire. Tuesday's gossip has been known to make mistakes.
As the season wears on in Seaside Heights, the eight subjects in what is and forever shall be the most important sociological experiment of our time grow listless. Their behavior becomes simultaneously erratic and monotonous. Then the same torturous storyline comes along again to fill up the tedium.