Peaches Geldof Live-Tweets 'Epic' Car Accident En Route to Disneyland

Maureen O'Connor · 12/17/09 05:23AM

Peaches' "IDGAF crew" (that's "I Don't Give a Fuck" to the uninitiated) were "speeding like I have never, ever witnessed" when they crashed their car. Just in case there is a lawsuit later, Peaches thoughtfully recorded their carelessness on Twitter.

Obama Sends Turkey to Die in California

Pareene · 11/25/09 01:58PM

After a hilarious speech, President Obama pardoned the first turkey of his administration, continuing this delightful tradition that should probably be ended, immediately.

Dwayne Johnson To Battle Theme-Park Obsolescence Gnomes in 'Tomorrowland' Movie

STV · 09/18/08 11:20AM

Apparently looking to expand the modest scope that exploited its Pirates of the Caribbean attraction as a nearly eight-hour, $3 billion-grossing trilogy, Disney now plans to mine an entire portion of Disneyland for the franchise of the future. Literally: The studio has reportedly commissioned a pair of writers to develop the script for a film based on Tomorrowland, with Dwayne Johnson attached to star as a minimum-wage ride operator whose fantasies of updating Star Tours lead to a thrilling adventure through the Lucas/Disney black hole of bureaucracy. Or... something. If Disney knows, its overlords aren't talking:

Miley's Sweet 16: You (and 30,000 Gays) are Invited!

STV · 08/22/08 02:00PM

OMG! The birthday-celebrating opportunity of your tween's lifetime is right around the corner at Disneyland, where plans for Miley Cyrus's Sweet-16 bash on Oct. 5 are coming together with saucy, serendipitous panache. Never mind the $250 face value of the limited tickets going on sale Aug. 30 — the guest list validates a price even double that. Take, for starters, the Jonas Brothers and Miley's other Disney cohorts, throw in a few volunteers handpicked from Youth Service America, and finish it off with a two-story birthday cake full of gays. Or at least a theme park full of them, according to The Advocate:

From Chimpan-A To Chimpan-Z

Mark Graham · 05/28/08 08:30PM

· There is no denying that chimpanzees have a proud tradition of cinematic excellence. From BJ And The Bear to Project X, the little rapscallions have earned their place as our favorite animal actors (especially since the bear species has proven themselves to be less than reliable). But as rad as it was when those chimps drove airplanes with Matty Broderick, it doesn't hold a candle to the utter domination of this little chimp playing Jenga on Japanese television. Yes, we said Jenga! [YouTube via AOTS]
· If you are offended by the sight of Robert Downey in blackface in Tropic Thunder, wait til you get a load of an overweight Japanese guy in blackface pretending to be Stevie Wonder in this bizarre tribute to "We Are The World." [Gheorge: The Blog]
· In what will certainly go down as the worst atrocity to happen to the Batman franchise since Joel Schumacher got kicked to the curb, we are disappointed to report that The Dark Knight's got milk. [FilmDrunk]
· "Here’s a napkin someone wrote on for me: 'I will give you a blow job on your break, so sexy! Kim—714-XXX-XXXX.' I would also get offers from women in my ear: 'Anything you want, just find me.' I had a girl who had turned 18 the day before. She was with a high school group, and she wrote down her room number at the Downtown Disney hotel. I had a lady hump my leg one day in the park." Excerpts from Charlie Sheen's post-Denise diary? Nope. Just a day in the life of a Disneyland Jack Sparrow. [LA Mag]
· We're not quite sure exactly why every episode of Twin Peaks is available on CBS.com — considering the show aired on ABC — but that doesn't mean that we're not grateful. How's Annie? [CBS.com via Thighs Wide Shut]