If You Have Ever Smoked, Just Give Up

Hamilton Nolan · 06/20/16 08:20AM

Are you now or have you ever been a smoker of the dreaded “tobacky?” Perhaps you gave up the habit long ago, for your health? No matter—you are doomed.

Hamilton Nolan · 03/25/16 04:00PM

A study finds that people who have “recurrent bouts of extreme, impulsive anger” are more than twice as likely to carry a parasite that is transmitted through the feces of infected cats. Eating cat butt make you mad.

Good News on Cancer for Americans (Not for the Rest of You)

Hamilton Nolan · 12/31/14 01:00PM

Did you get cancer recently? You did? Uh... sorry. I'm very sorry. I thought you were going to say "no." Jesus. Uh... take heart in your many fellow Americans who have not gotten cancer recently—thanks to science, etc!

Hamilton Nolan · 11/17/14 09:05AM

If you get Ebola, it turns out that the single best thing you can do is to drink a gallon of water a day. "I want sports personalities to be talking about it," says a doctor in Sierra Leone. "I want everybody to be talking about it." Spread the word!

The Way We Used to Quarantine in New York

Michelle Dean · 10/24/14 02:30PM

So far, because there are only three of them, it's easy to feel reassured that those potentially and actually infected with Ebola in New York are in safe quarantine. Bellevue insists it had a biohazard protocol all ready and waiting; there is nothing to worry about.

Hundreds of Kids Sick as Rare Respiratory Virus Sweeps Through U.S.

Aleksander Chan · 09/08/14 07:21AM

In the space of a month, hundreds of children across America have been admitted to the hospital with breathing problems that the Centers for Disease control suspect to be Enterovirus D68, a rare virus that causes cold and asthma-like symptoms that can quickly turn severe. Children's Hospital Colorado in Denver has seen more than 900 children with respiratory problems between Aug. 8 and Sept. 4, ABC News reports—85 were admitted, some to intensive care.

Forty Percent of Your Kids Will Get Diabetes

Hamilton Nolan · 08/13/14 10:42AM

If you have a "young one" waddling around your home at the moment (because it is your child), I suggest you lift them off the ground with a mighty effort, shake them (as much as you're able), and scream, "There's a 40% chance you will have diabetes one day!" (until your muscles give out).

The Deadliest-Ever Ebola Outbreak: How It Started, and What's Next

Andy Cush · 08/01/14 11:20AM

Over the last several months, the deadliest-ever outbreak of the Ebola virus has torn through West Africa, claiming hundreds of lives and leaving hundreds more infected. If you're just catching up with the news, here's some of what we know about the disease, its spread, and how it might be stopped.

Hamilton Nolan · 07/11/14 04:16PM

A man near Denver has contracted "the rarest and most fatal form of plague." Oh, brother!

Hamilton Nolan · 06/27/14 12:14PM

Liberia's top governmental medical officer is pleading with the country's pastors to stop keeping people infected with ebola in churches. Many there believe they "can be healed through prayer."

Our Brain-Dead Future

Hamilton Nolan · 12/05/13 09:31AM

It would be alarmist of us to predict that you, the randomly selected Gawker reader, will suffer from dementia in the future. Let's just say... the chances of it are getting better.