Las Vegas' Future Is Dry and Fucked

Hamilton Nolan · 04/21/14 11:36AM

Once upon a time, a lot of gangsters got together and built some casinos in the middle of a desert. For inexplicable reasons, these casinos were allowed to flourish into a major metropolitan area: Las Vegas. Now, that city is staring down a dry, waterless future.

Hamilton Nolan · 02/25/14 12:57PM

The California drought is killing all the almonds, causing prices to surge to record levels and sending major buyers scrambling across the globe for new sources of almond supplies. Damn. Almonds are good though.

Fancy Glass Apartment Towers Could Bake Their Wealthy Owners

Hamilton Nolan · 02/04/14 09:54AM

The skyline of "The Big Apple" is festooned with soaring, glass-sheathed condo high rises, where the world's wealthy shelter in altitudinous luxury, away from the teeming masses. With a little luck, all of those people will die in a heat wave.

Detroit Can Keep Its Art

Hamilton Nolan · 01/13/14 04:38PM

Some people thought that Detroit, a city that is bankrupt, might have to sell off the valuable art in its art museum in order to help pay its debts. Detroit will not have to do this after all.

America's Nuclear Waste Is Just Sitting All Over the Place

Hamilton Nolan · 10/25/13 04:00PM

A quarter century ago, the US government decided that Yucca Mountain, Nevada would be where we would store all of our deadly nuclear waste. So where is our deadly nuclear waste today? Oh, just spread out all over the place.

Global Environmental Apocalypse Proceeding Right on Schedule

Hamilton Nolan · 08/07/13 08:40AM

With all the talk these days of a "global warming crisis" and "looming planetary disaster," it may sometimes be hard to know what to think. Relax: our global warming crisis and looming planetary disaster are going exactly as scheduled.

This Drought Will Not End Until The West Evaporates

Hamilton Nolan · 08/06/13 08:29AM

One year ago, America had bigger things to worry about than A-Rod's pharmaceutical regimen and the latest tripe from Beyonce: a huge, well-deserved drought covering the majority of the country. What has the new summer brought us? More drought. And now we must suffer for our sins.

Hamilton Nolan · 08/05/13 02:33PM

Uh oh, radioactive water leaking into the ocean from Japan's damaged Fukushima nuclear reactor is causing "an emergency," right now.