Hamilton Nolan · 07/15/16 02:50PM

BP says that the total cost to the company for its 2010 Gulf of Mexico oil spill will be nearly $62 billion. That is nearly eight times the total annual budget of the US Environmental Protection Agency.

Venezuela: Fucked 

Hamilton Nolan · 07/13/16 04:30PM

The Venezuelan military has seized control of the nation’s major ports and has been placed in charge of distributing food in an attempt to deter murderous, starving food bandits. That is not even the worst news.

Hamilton Nolan · 07/12/16 02:55PM

NBC says it will air the opening ceremony of the Rio Olympics on a one-hour delay in order to “curate [it to not show any possible Zika deaths, riots, terrorist acts, or faulty stadium collapses].”

Ladies and Gentlemen, It's Time to Panic

Hamilton Nolan · 07/08/15 11:23AM

Have you noticed anything odd going on this morning? Oh yes. Let us be the first to tell you that the time to panic is upon us.

California, Your Apocalypse Is Now More Likely

Hamilton Nolan · 03/11/15 03:35PM

It is less accurate to call California "a U.S. state" than it is to call it "a future earthquake-induced rubble pile." As happens quite often, scientists have once again made their doomsaying forecasts about California's disastrous future even worse.

One Earthquake Could Make Los Angeles Die of Thirst

Hamilton Nolan · 12/16/14 10:15AM

For those of us who live on the East Coast, contemplating the demise of Los Angeles at the hands of Mother Nature is like watching a horror movie, rather than like being in a horror movie. Did you know one little earthquake could make the whole place dry up and blow away?

I Can't Stop Watching These Parade Balloon Accident Videos

Hudson Hongo · 11/27/14 02:30PM

Like stock car races or primary debates, balloon parades are an alleged form of entertainment that's mostly just boring until something goes wrong. Fortunately, with balloon accidents the resulting injuries are primarily psychic in nature—measured in months of therapy for poor Jacob after seeing Pikachu disemboweled by a lamppost—making them much more fun to watch.

Hamilton Nolan · 11/12/14 05:09PM

The pilot who survived last month's Virgin SpaceShipTwo crash has told investigators that his parachute deployed automatically, which is probably a great help when you find yourself going 600 miles an hour 50,000 feet up with no plane.