Last week’s episode of Game of Thrones will be remembered as one that rewarded emotional investment in a show that, in recent seasons, has given its viewers plenty of reasons to check out. The series became famous for suddenly killing off major characters in the least merciful ways imaginable, but the newest episode ended with a beloved figure dying in a manner that was excruciating and brutal but also honorable and sort of elegant. Oh, and earlier in the episode they showed a dick.
“I want to get away, I want to fly away,” is what I assume Lenny Kravitz’s dick was singing to itself when it fell out of his pants yesterday at a concert in Stockholm.
Once Game of Thrones came to an agreement with a Croatian church to lock down the filming location for Cersei Lannister’s naked walk of shame, and secured a body double for Lena Headey, there was only one thing missing from one of the most important scenes of the season 5 finale: a guy to flash his dick and shout “I’m a Lannister, suck me off!”
Lance Armstrong, one of the biggest dicks and frauds in the history of men, is shocked that people cannot forget what a dick and a fraud he is—even now, months after he let his girlfriend take the fall for “partying” and hitting cars. This guy! He literally thinks he is “Voldemort,” the villain in the “Harry Potter” novels.
There are some things you should know about Richard Matt, right, one of the two convicted murders who crawled out of a maximum security prison in New York this weekend. He has killed multiple people in two different countries. He has escaped from prison once before. He is, according to one cop, “the most vicious, evil person I’ve ever come across in 38 years as a police officer.” He also has a gigantic cock.
Since the only thing that men ever think about is how big their dicks are, we finally have some good news for you, men. Finally!! A new comprehensive study among 15,000 men discovered that the average length of an erect penis was a mostly meager 5.16 inches. Bust out some lube and measuring tape, why don't you? Tell us in the comments where you stand.
The year of 2014 began with a bang: a man on Reddit who had posted photos of his two penises sat in on the site for an AMA session on January 1st. Answering the question, "Do you have a favorite?" the man with two dicks replied, "Yes. The right one. The left one has a grudge against me for it too. lol" With that affirmative moment in penile favoritism, the year of the booty had found its companion in dicks, and the 365 days ahead were long and hard.