Shocking New Evidence Proves Satan Is Real and Lives In America

Ken Layne · 11/14/13 10:00AM

Is the Devil real? Yes, the Devil is real. Boston mobster James "Whitey" Bulger is actually Satan, according to the son of a man murdered by Bulger, and Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia believes very strongly in a very real Lucifer. Deranged child star Miley Cyrus actually sold her soul to Old Scratch and even had sex with a lesser demon, according to a credible pair of religious broadcasters. And fresh-faced teenaged pop singer Ariana Grande says she is regularly visited in her bed by an immense black entity she identifies as the Devil—one time it even climbed atop her visiting girlfriend.

How the Ouija Board Became the Mouthpiece of the Devil

Ken Layne · 10/31/13 01:07PM

At Halloween parties across this dreaded land tonight, people will set up Ouija boards and tarot decks for the traditional drunken fortune teller's table of occult items. At least a few people will freak out when the Ouija board spells out something maniacal like "KILL YOU FOREVER GOOD-BYE DADDY," and again we will wonder why we keep these apparent portals to Hell in our closet alongside Connect Four and Monopoly.

Audience Laughs at Seeing M. Night Shyamalan's Name In Movie Trailer

Richard Lawson · 07/19/10 11:28AM

Ha, poor M. Night. In a trailer for the upcoming horror movie Devil, a title card reads, ridiculously, "From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan." Ten years ago, that phrase meant something. Now the audience just groans and laughs. Wah-wahhh.