The Non Sports Fan's Guide to Tim Tebow

Max Read · 01/11/12 03:10PM

Everybody is talking about Tim Tebow. Except for you. Who is Tim Tebow? you're asking yourself, after spending 10 minutes nodding silently while coworkers discussed his game this weekend against the Patriots. (What sport is this? you are probably also asking. For the record: football.) It's okay, non sports fan: here is your exclusive guide to Tim Tebow.

Drunk Lady Rubs Butt, Tries to Pee on $30 Million Painting

Max Read · 01/05/12 11:13AM

Everyone's a critic! Especially Carmen Tisch of Denver, who really does not like abstract expressionist Clyfford Still very much, and expressed that displeasure by punching his painting "1957-J no.2." And also rubbing her butt on it.

Pressured to Name Leader, Occupy Denver Elects Dog

Max Read · 11/08/11 09:07PM

Denver Mayor Michael Hancock insisted that his city's occupation name a leader in order "to deal with City and State officials." And he got his wish! Occupy Denver has elected Shelby, a border collie, as its leader. Long live Shelby!

Guys Go Bar-Hopping with Friend's Corpse, Criminal Charges Ensue

Maureen O'Connor · 09/16/11 01:15PM

A pair of Coloradans have been charged with abusing a corpse, identity theft, and criminal impersonation for loading their dead friend's body into the backseat of their car, then using his ATM card to finance a night of bar- and strip-club-hopping. The cause of death has not yet been determined.

Denver Drains Fountains In Anticipation of Dirty Hippie Gathering

Seth Abramovitch · 08/17/11 09:45PM

A Denver suburb has made the preemptive decision to shut off two large fountains outside Dick's Sporting Goods Park — aka "The Dick" — where Phish will play over Labor Day weekend. But Commerce City mayor Paul Natale wants to be clear that this isn't a measure to, say, keep Phish fans from rinsing off their dirty hippie nether-regions during periodic lulls in 79-minute, freestyle versions of "Runaway Jim."

Man Robs Cupcake Store With Syringeful of HIV-Positive Blood

Seth Abramovitch · 07/28/11 12:14AM

It's hard to really put one's finger on the precise moment a trend dies. Is it when you get your first photo of your mom planking on the washing machine? Or when adult soapbox derbies are profiled in a piece about the Portlandification of Brooklyn? Or, perhaps, when someone robs a cupcake store in Denver by waving around a syringe filled with HIV-positive blood? Yes, I do believe that last one would do it.

Quiet Grandmother Facing Eviction for Alleged Gang Activity

Lauri Apple · 06/11/11 11:11AM

After living in the same apartment for 30 years, Jeannetta Holden—a 59-year-old grandma and great-grandma who likes houseplants and cooking—has received an eviction notice from her landlord, who claims she's been selling drugs, shooting guns, and hanging with gangs. Supposedly police reports prove everything.

Just Scraping By

Max Read · 02/01/11 03:46AM

[Lydia Vasquez scrapes ice from the windshield of her car in Denver on Monday. Image via AP]

Denver the Last Dinosaur

Anderson Evans · 11/20/10 10:30AM

As the friendliest rock and roll dinosaur of the late 1980s, Denver hung out in an interracial community and was so anti-violence he received the National Education Association recommendation (Yet we still haven't discovered how to travel through time).