Demi Moore's Boyfriend Has a Pearl in His Dick

Caity Weaver · 05/22/13 11:38AM

Stars: They're just like us! Their boyfriends have pearls in their dicks! They go grocery shopping with their boyfriends with pearls in their dicks! They visit the planetarium with their boyfriends with pearls in their dicks! They decide to try a new restaurant with their boyfriends with pearls in their dicks and when they get there the service is really terrible and they're like (kind of annoyed) "Where did you find this place?" and their boyfriends with pearls in their dicks are like "I looked it up on Yelp. It got good reviews" and then they look it up on Yelp and realize that restaurant has two locations. ! Demi Moore's new boyfriend has a pearl in his dick.

Demi Moore Auditions for Twerk Team at Alex Rodriguez's House (UPDATE)

Jordan Sargent · 12/06/12 10:20PM

Demi Moore is down in Miami this week for Art Basel, hanging out with her post-Ashton catch Vito Schnabel. Like any normal American getting over an embarrassing, trying divorce, Moore was seen last night partying at Alex Rodriguez's house with Lenny Kravitz. At the party she was just being a very cool, totally non-embarrassing mom, who just so happened to be putting on an unsolicited audition for the Twerk Team, YouTube's foremost ass-shaking troupe.

Miley Cyrus' Character Has a Snappy Bald Vagina in the Buried Flick LOL

Rich Juzwiak · 07/31/12 02:50PM

The scene above is a great indication of how bad noted sex enthusiast Miley Cyrus's LOL is. It's a movie that Lionsgate all but buried during its millisecond run in theaters. In the clip above, Demi Moore bathes with one daughter and chastises her other, Cyrus' character Lola, for having undergone a Brazilian wax, which she brazenly shows off — well, as brazenly as PG-13 will allow. "Maaahm!" is the wost answer you could possibly give when someone asks if you have a Brazilian. Moments later, Cyrus and Moore spoon in bed. So that's how it is in their family.

Former 'Mrs. Kutcher' Is Now 'Just Demi'

Louis Peitzman · 05/05/12 10:34AM

Update your Twitter address books accordingly — Demi Moore has changed her Twitter handle from @mrskutcher (a reference to soon-to-be-ex husband Ashton Kutcher) to @justdemi. It's not exactly the most exciting development, but for Moore fans horrified by her insistence on keeping an Ashton-related handle, this is the dawn of an important new era.

The Whitney Houston Index: What if These People Died the Night Before the Oscars?

Maureen O'Connor · 02/24/12 02:32PM

Sigmund Freud theorized that humans have a death drive, a latent desire for self-destruction. In a media ecosystem rife with celebity death pictures, celebrity death bets, Celebrity Rehab, I'd say we have a culture-wide "death drive," too. The reaction to Whitney Houston's death two weeks ago, reported the day before the Grammys, underscored our obsession with such celebrity tragedies. What would be the Oscars' version of that particular fallout?

Armed Forces Return to DEFCON Five as Blow Job Movie Gets New Feminist Icon

Max Read · 01/27/12 05:30PM

Having gained respect and accolades from women's groups worldwide for her portrayal of militant Redstocking Carrie Bradshaw, Sarah Jessica Parker will replace Demi Moore in the part of renowned Playboy bunny Gloria Steinem in Lovelace, the biographical film about pornographic actress Linda Lovelace. The one with Amanda Seyfried, not the other one. [EW; image via AP]

A Quick Guide To Doing Whip-Its Without Having a Demi Moore-Like Seizure

Leah Beckmann · 01/26/12 06:52PM

After Demi Moore's recent whip-it fiasco, it's become apparent that some of you do not know how to use whip-its. If we are anything here at Gawker, we are educators first and foremost. So while I wish Demi a speedy recovery, it is important that you all stop doing whip-its (not to be confused with my favorite butthole relaxant and room odorizer, Poppers) the wrong way. There is a right way to do them and I am here to teach you how. Also, don't be a goober; you should know what a whip-it is and how to do it by now.