Globalization doesn't just apply to goods and services—it's also influenced the development of debutards the world over. Witness this handy list about the defining characteristics of British debutards (like Zara Phillips, daughter of Princess Anne, at right). They sound eerily similar to their American counterparts, leading us to wonder whether the standardization plaguing the lower classes has also, sadly, infected the wealthier among us:
While John Mayer and Jessica Simpson were sucking face at Stereo and Britney Spears was fainting in Las Vegas, Tinsley Mortimer, 31, was hosting a party at Japonais restaurant—a party so "exclusive" that it was still being desperately promoted in the days leading up to the event. And according to Socialite Rank, hostess Tinz was so worried about turnout that she was texting her so-called friends right until the day before New Year's, "inspiring polite refusals from top socialites who are safely resting in warm territories at the moment." Apparently only the Tinz's feckless husband Topper and her brother-in-law Peter Davis bothered to show, leaving them to party the night away with a lovely B&T crowd. How very ... populist of them.
"This is just amazing — so many people." "I'm from the South, and you have to do this if you're from the South." "I think this party is awesome." Blah blah blah. Would anyone at the 52nd Annual Debutante Ball say anything that wasn't bland and polite? Did no one see the ridiculous side of the anachronistic rich-people gathering?
Yes, it's that time of year again, and the Sunday Styles section has the photos from the 71st Infirmary Ball at the Waldorf-Astoria a couple weeks ago. As has been documented here and elsewhere, the balls are an opportunity for rich young women to make their "debuts" to society, which in practice means they spend an inordinate amount of money for a WASPy Super Sweet 16-type party, accompanied by their parents and two "escorts." And thus, the debutard cycle continues, churning out a seemingly endless supply of young ladies with nothing but cash and marginal good looks who'll soon grace the society pages of W. We can't wait. Welcome, ladies!
Hot, breaking news from Socialiteland—Tinsley Mortimer has won the final New York Social Elite Power Ranking of the year on Socialite Rank, narrowly beating out such competitors as Fabiola Beracasa, Rachel Roy, and Zani Gugelmann. We'd like to extend a hearty congratulations to The Tinz, who is starting to look like the cockroach of the socialite world—she just won't go away—but also take this opportunity to note some of the statistics that Socialite Rank helpfully compiled for us. It's quite "revelation"-al. (Oh, and also, what's the deal with Page Six's most non-blind blind Tinsley Mortimer item ever?)
A few months ago, Chris Hanley sent us a video of a GenArt party that featured a guy, later identified as Max Dassler, spouting such words of wisdom as, ""You know, like, I'm into movies, and that's cool. But, like, if you're gonna throw, like, uh, an industry party, you might as well fucking, like, throw a party." Okay, then. Dassler lay low for a little while, but Hanley just kindly alerted us to his presence at a MisShapes party at Art Basel Miami, and he's just as douche-tastic as ever: "If you're going to be a jackass at an art party, it's not too hard to do," he says into the camera. Indeed! Do enjoy.
Socialtwat Fabiola Beracasa, who goes out all the time to raise the profile of — sorry, what 'job' does she pretend to do again? — is quoted in today's NYO investigation of who's behind Socialite Rank (ever, ever so much more on that later) about what, in her informed opinion, keeps the eyes of the world so riveted to the antics of rich idiots like herself:
You may have already tired of the current crop of debutards—we admit we've been hitting the Tinz pretty hard lately—but fortunately, a new class was sworn in Saturday night in Paris, WWD reports. In the grand tradition of debutard balls, the new ladies are an international array of the well-born and the sort-of well-bred. We've got Hannah Olivennes, daughter of Kristin Scott Thomas, who had these wise words: "I wasn't going to do it initially, but who would turn down the possibility of wearing Chanel couture?" Or Upper East Side "princess" (per WWD) Angela Mellon (pictured in her mermaid-ish Christian Lacroix gown at right), who said, "I came for fashion week and picked out my dress at the show." Then there's Caroline Ghosn, whose father is the chairman of Renault and Nissan chairman:
We'd like to extend a heartfelt congratulations to Tinsley Mortimer, 31, who's placed first in one of the most competitive debutard derbies: Socialite Rank's latest NY Social Elite Power ranking. The Socialite Rankers use a complicated formula based several criteria, including "personal styles and designer relations," "press coverage in major publications and gossip columns," "appearances and commitment to events," and "hot factor—what makes each of the individuals sizzle with personality." We did notice that the Tinz placed second in the previous ranking two weeks ago, which meant she muscled her way to the top spot over the last couple weeks. What, pray tell, could've made the difference this time?
In this lengthy interview, Tinsley Mortimer shares her thoughts about the works of Marx and Engels. PSYCH! The Post has no idea what the word 'socialist' means, and Tinsley Mortimer gives the most retarded quotes imaginable. Seriously, more retarded than you are currently imagining them to be. A little tease:
There are four horsemen of the apocalypse. Related: there are, according to the Post, "five socialites . . . competing in a real-life challenge to win the starring role in a TV series titled 'Social.'" Keira Chaplin, Fabiola Beracasa, Melissa Berkelhammer, Gillian Hearst-Shaw and Tinsley Mortimer were
A few weeks ago, George Gurley wrote a long profile for the Observer about a certain Charlotte Bocly, a 19-year-old Park Avenue/Bridgehampton resident with blonde hair, big teeth and more money than God, and we wondered whether Charlotte might be pulling the rug out from under Melissa Berkelhammer's unsuspecting ass. But now maybe Charlotte should be watching her own ass, since Socialite Rank seems to have discovered George's next profile subject. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you Olivia Palermo, New School University student, horse owner and A-1 debutard. Like her predecessors, she's got a lot to say. Gurley, are you listening?