Celery: Nothing Tastes as Good as Death Feels

Gabrielle Bluestone · 12/02/15 11:02AM

Conventional wisdom holds if you want to be skinny, eat a bunch of celery. Here’s why: It’s not because chewing it requires more calories than a single stalk contains—a fact I learned in middle school but have not, in fact, ever verified.

Cucumbers: Nothing Tastes As Good as Death Feels

Gabrielle Bluestone · 09/10/15 11:58AM

Looking for a low-calorie, refreshing way to hasten your impending death? Why not try a cucumber—an easy way to play Russian dressing roulette with your salad—and your life.

Netflix Is In Free Fall

Ryan Tate · 10/25/11 02:59PM

Netflix shares are down about 35 percent today after the online movie company warned of subscriber defections and mounting costs. This is getting sad.

MySpace Forced To Cancel Justin Timberlake Party

Ryan Tate · 09/19/11 06:17PM

MySpace had a big summer "coming out party" planned for itself, to prove that it was full of new energy . Investor Justin Timberlake was going to be there and everything! Sadly, the social network had to cancel this party, because it continues to die.

Yahoo's CEO: 'I've Just Been Fired Over the Phone'

Ryan Tate · 09/06/11 06:43PM

Yahoo's cursing CEO Carol Bartz is out the door — and just sent staff an email saying she's been fired over the phone. It looks like AOL isn't the only loser tech company with a clusterfuck on its hands this week.

MySpace Layoffs Rumored for This Week

Ryan Tate · 06/27/11 05:45PM

We hear MySpace's Southern California offices are thick with rumors that the social network is planning some serious bloodletting this week. Scary as that sounds, some employees are apparently looking forward to the layoffs.

Sad MySpace Has Just One Bidder

Ryan Tate · 06/09/11 02:40PM

After six months of trying to sell itself, animated GIF emporium MySpace has exactly one potential buyer, who only wants to buy part of MySpace, and at a very steep discount. This is getting rather pathetic.

Worked Like Dogs, Then Laid Off?

Ryan Tate · 01/11/11 07:41PM

An anonymous MySpace employee says company executives tricked workers into sweatshop-ish overwork to save the foundering social network, only to turn around and lay half of them off. The executives' supposed real motivation: Getting rich in a MySpace spinoff.

MySpace Halfway in the Grave

Ryan Tate · 01/04/11 03:39PM

Well, that was fast: Barely two months after a big redesign, MySpace is planning to lay off half its staff, according to news reports. So much for the flailing social network's supposed turnaround.

Tesla CEO Says GE's an Investor, but GE Says No

Owen Thomas · 03/30/09 05:33PM

Musk, apparently eager to give the magazine an exclusive and reassure buyers who must put down a sizeable $40,000 deposit for a car that they won't see until 2011 at the earliest, said that GE Capital was an investor: