The Baby Name Critic had not yet been called to service when Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, a couple claiming to be Hollywood talents, gave life to their firstborn, a girl child unfortunately named Lincoln. If the Baby Name Critic had been writing for hire then, she might have said: Do not name your daughter after a geriatric brand of automobile/the 16th male president. Really, must we burden our young women by giving them both the first names and the surnames of men? A better solution for parents interested in honoring Lincoln's values, but also bolstering the feminist cause, would be to name your daughter after a strong woman of the Civil War era: Harriet (Tubman or Beecher Stowe!). Clara. Lucretia. All stunning names.
Crosby might be the youngest of the adult Bravermans, but last night he pulled off fatherhood well. With Jasmine out of town, he took over and made some things clear to Jasmine's mother.
• The cast of MTV's Jersey Shore officially signed on for season two over the weekend. (Although MTV may now be forced to rename the show, since the cast could be spending next season in the Hamptons.) If you need something to tide you over until the summer, you could always go out and pick up Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's new cologne, which is appropriately named "The Sitch" and smells like a mix of self-tanner, Axe body spray, and some random girl's perfume. [Us, NYP, P6]
• So much for those rumors about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up. At the Director's Guild of America Awards in LA on Saturday night, the couple looked "as happy as can be," Pitt pulled a chair out for his wife (what a gentleman!), and he spent the evening gently caressing her back. [Us, People]
• Did you miss the Grammys last night? Lady Gaga wore a dress that looked like a fifth-grade solar system science project before descending into a fire pit and then playing piano opposite a crystal-encrusted Elton John; Pink did a Cirque de Soleil-esque performance in a nude bodysuit, twirling on a trapeze and singing upside down; Beyonce won a record-breaking six Grammys; Taylor Swift walked away with four, including album of the year; and the crowd was treated to a 3-D tribute to Michael Jackson as well as brief speeches by two of his kids, Prince and Paris. Click through for the list of winners and the fashion highlights/lowlights. [People, NYP, NYDN, MTV, People]
Christy Turlington celebrates her 40th today. Taye Diggs is turning 37. Kate Bosworth is turning 26. Former Times reporter Judy Miller is 61. Loews CEO Jim Tisch is 56. Restaurateur Michael Lomonaco is turning 54. Marshall Rose, real estate developer and husband of Candice Bergen, is 72. Actress Paz Vega is 32. Cuba Gooding Jr. is 41. Former House speaker Dennis Hastert is 67. And Michael Bloomberg's mother, Charlotte, celebrates 100 today. Weekend birthdays after the jump.
No one around here really wants to have the Save-a-Fading-Hollywood-Icon conversation every day. But less than 24 hours after Ed McMahon's sad, bought-and-paid-for declaration that "I am officially a rapper," the quiet dumping of Diane Keaton's new film Smother (or the fact that there even is a Diane Keaton film called Smother) leaves us no real choice. The Oscar-winner's latest is her fourth consecutive Straight-to-Flopz™ effort since 2007, as well as the third during that time (alongside Because I Said So and Mama's Boy) in which she's portrayed a suffocating harpy mom. Worse yet — depressingly so — Smother is the first Diane Keaton film in our adult lifetimes that we didn't even know existed until after it opened. Not. Cool. And it's not like rookie distributor Variance Films didn't have a trailer (follow the jump), a decent cast (Liv Tyler, Dax Shepard, Mike White) or even a fun poster to market. So what happened?Part of it is Keaton's own fault. After a tandem comprising Something's Gotta Give (her most recent Oscar-nominated role) and The Family Stone, Keaton has coasted chronically through paycheck after paycheck. We'd seen hints as recently as 2001, when her mob comedy Plan B went straight to video, but her reputation as a selective stateswoman of American cinema slid for real with Because I Said So and the heist flick Mad Money. They combined for $62 million domestically but were generally reviled as beneath their star. And they were beneath Keaton; The Family Stone wasn't going to make anyone forget Annie Hall as a whole, but as late-career matriarch roles go, she was as good as she'd ever been. Then came the DVD- (and hell-) ready Mama's Boy, co-starring Jon Heder and essentially remade as Smother with a date-movie-palatability quotient bumped up. Neither found traction with critics, but Variance didn't bother with press or preview screenings at all. That settled it for critics, with Ebert-thwacking indie grump Lou Lumenick positing "Diane Keaton Scrapes the Barrel" and another reviewer asking: "Does Diane Keaton owe some loan sharks a considerable amount of cash? Are there incriminating photos of her that she’s insistent never see the light of day?" We wouldn't rule it out. And the thing is, she's still so smart and funny and beautiful — too much so for all of this. Smother, Diane? Really? The optimist in us has to move ahead assuming it's a rough patch, but so help us, if we her selling credit reports in a miniskirt on Pimp Ed McMahon's arm, we'll come save her ourselves. This is serious.
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week (depending on volume), so send them in early and often—without them, the terrorists will have won! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Teri Hatcher and a band of 12-year olds on a scavenger hunt.
B-list favorite Tom Arnold seemingly appeared out of nowhere and joined Veronica Mars star Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard on a hike in Griffith Park on Thursday. Arnold who appeared to be extremely excited to be hanging out with the guy from Punk'd, applied the "I'm famous, you're famous, so we're automatically besties" rule to the twosome. The young couple simply shrugged their shoulders and allowed Arnold to tag along, but they quickly regretted the decision as Arnold launched into a fifteen-minute diatribe about the pitfalls of network television and "the good ole days." Then Arnold asked if Bell could set up a meeting between him and Judd Apatow.
· David O. Russell's next movie, a romantic comedy called Nailed, adds James Marsden, Catherine Keener and Tracy Morgan to an all-star cast that already includes Jake Gyllenhaal and Jessica Biel. As thrilled as we are to see Morgan's movie career graduate to the level of a Russell production, we fear what mayhem might arise from combining the highly combustible auteur and the manically unhinged actor. [THR]
· Overseas audiences love 10,000 B.C.! So much so that Warner Bros. has ordered 9999 more sequels, at which point they'll have Roland Emmerich take a stab at the Nativity Story, in which the baby Savior will fend off bloodthirsty sabre-toothed manger goats. [Variety]
· Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson are close to signing Nanny McPhee's Thomas Sangster to play the lead role in their motion-capture Tintin trilogy. Do they really have to make it motion-capture? Nothing good ever comes from motion-capture. Let's just leave it in the early '00s, like we left sundried tomatoes in the '80s. [THR]
Another day, another beauty splits up with legendary duck-faced serial dater Zach Braff. Seems Shiri Appleby, like her predecessors Drew Barrymore, Mandy Moore and Kirsten Dunst, just wasn't up to Zach's inexplicably high standards. It's embarrassing to admit, but we've always embarrassingly found the Scrubs star kinda charming in a college boyfriend who makes you laugh kind of way, but then again, we're mere mortals. So why do actresses like Shiri and Drew fall head-over-heels for this guy? Still, Zach is hardly the only aesthetically-challenged male star notching hottie after hottie on their (rarely worn) belts. We select our picks for the top five improbably lucky swordsmen in Hollywood after the jump.
· Oprah Winfrey delivers an impassioned, 20-minute stump speech in Des Moines on behalf of Barack Obama, whose presidential candidacy was officially designated as one of her Favorite Things of 2007. In addition to the inspiration they received, each one of the thousands of Iowans in attendance at the rally left with his or her own copy of O's Guide to Life and a dozen Perfect Endings cupcakes. [Variety]
· VH1 greenlights eight episodes of Viva Hollywood!, its Top Modelesque talent search for Telemundo's next big telenovela star. There's also a $100,000 prize to cushion the blow when the competition's winner fails to capitalize on the big break and returns to his or her bartending job. [THR]