Some Highlights From the Insane New Report About the Big-Dicked Murderer's Prison Break

Andy Cush · 06/06/16 04:55PM

It was exactly one year and one day ago that Richard Matt, the big-dicked murderer, may god rest his soul, escaped from Clinton Correctional Facility alongside his friend David Sweat, the murderer whose dick is of indeterminate size, pictured above. According to a scathing report state investigators released to mark the anniversary, Clinton guards made the two men’s escape much easier than it should have been.

Prisoners Say They Were Beaten, Choked In Aftermath of Killers' Escape

Jay Hathaway · 08/11/15 03:30PM

In the days after convicted murderers Richard Matt and David Sweat escaped Clinton Correction Facility, corrections officers allegedly beat, choked, and threatened to waterboard the inmates remaining in their block, prisoners told the New York Times. The abuse was ostensibly part of an effort to find the escapees, but the Times reports it seemed more like “a campaign of retribution.”

Lawyer: Killer Escapee Gave Tillie Pills to "Incapacitate" Her Husband

Gabrielle Bluestone · 07/07/15 03:10PM

According to CNN, the big-dicked killer escapee Richard Matt gave his lover and supervisor Joyce “Tillie” Mitchell more than just companionship and a beautiful painting: he also gave her pills to “incapacitate” her husband, who the pair were planning on murdering.

Big-Dicked Convict's Prison Guard Pal Plays in a Goofball Rock Band

Andy Cush · 06/26/15 12:30PM

New evidence suggests that Gene Palmer—the Clinton Correctional Facility guard who allegedly accepted paintings by allegedly big-dicked murderer Richard Matt as payment for aiding Matt’s escape alongside David Sweat—has spent years indulging his own artistic inclinations in addition to those of convicted felons. Just like Orange Is the New Black’s Joe Caputo, Palmer played guitar in a shitkickin’ bar band on the weekends.