Watch Ted Cruz’s Daughter Literally Run From Her Father’s Touch

Ashley Feinberg · 04/29/16 09:11AM

At a rally in South Bend, Indiana yesterday, Ted Cruz continued his “I am a human” tour with newfound running mate Carly Fiorina. And as he took to the stage with his companion and progeny, loving, human father Ted Cruz reached down to his daughter, Caroline, to show the cameras just how much he cares. As any rational person would do in this situation, Caroline ran.

Do You Have This Video of Ted Cruz in a Pink Boa and Underwear? We'll Pay You For It

Ashley Feinberg · 04/25/16 12:00PM

A little over a week ago, Ted Cruz’s daughters managed to tolerate their father’s presence for an entire hour while being interviewed on CNN. But being rendered temporarily blind and deaf by Ted’s soup admission, we seem to have missed the night’s (other) big reveal: Multiple copies exist of a video of Ted Cruz dressed as, I guess, a princess, maybe? And friends, readers, countrymen, we want that video.

After His Honeymoon, Ted Cruz Immediately Bought 100 Cans Of Soup

Ashley Feinberg · 04/13/16 11:38PM

Thanks to CNN’s town hall, America just got another glimpse into the waking hell that is Heidi Cruz’s daily life. Tonight’s entry into the Heidi Cruz catalogue of the macabre: A newlywed Ted Cruz celebrates by buying 100 cans of Campbell’s Chunky soup.

After This Video You Will Never Be Able to Watch Ted Cruz Speak Again

Ashley Feinberg · 03/16/16 03:15PM

Watching Ted Cruz speak in any capacity isn’t pleasant. He’s smug, over-rehearsed, and likely wearing someone else’s skin. But as soon you notice this one odd, slightly nauseating little tic, watching Ted Cruz speak gets so, so much worse. We’re sorry.

Watch the Most Deeply Uncomfortable Moments of the Ted Cruz Family Outtake Videos

Ashley Feinberg · 12/04/15 12:15PM

Thanks to the (few) rules governing campaign Super PACs, candidates aren’t technically allowed to coordinate with them. Which means candidates can’t technically feed them hours and hours of raw video footage for future campaign ads. Candidates can however, casually leave them on a neglected YouTube account for Super PACs to find. And thank god they can, because Ted Cruz did.