If violent, screaming confrontations over day-old cupcakes and losing guns in McDonald's bathrooms sounds like your kind of thing, you should consider a job at the Denver Sheriff's Department. According to disciplinary letters obtained by the Denver Post, over the past 18 months deputies and employees at the department have been reprimanded for accidentally discharging their service weapons at least two times, losing a prisoner (and then arresting the wrong person), feeding prisoners homemade sandwiches and letting them watch YouTube videos, and abandoning posts six hours early.
The vice presidential debates are tonight. We expect and assume that, as in most elections, the debates—and the subsequent election—will be decided primarily upon the basis of which candidate most fully embodies the wise teachings of Gawker Media fitness columns. Well, shut it down, Biden has won, no need to show up today, might as well stay home and moisturize, "SNOWFLAKE" Ryan.
In an incident similar to the Great Roommate Buttering Caper of May 2011 in terms of messiness, domestic disruption, and—perhaps most remarkably—the involvement of a woman named Dawn, a Chicago wife has been arrested for hurling cupcakes at her husband during an argument. How sweet it isn't! ("It" being a difficult-sounding marriage.)
It's hard to really put one's finger on the precise moment a trend dies. Is it when you get your first photo of your mom planking on the washing machine? Or when adult soapbox derbies are profiled in a piece about the Portlandification of Brooklyn? Or, perhaps, when someone robs a cupcake store in Denver by waving around a syringe filled with HIV-positive blood? Yes, I do believe that last one would do it.
After headquarters shut down their station, causing their block party to be canceled, the guys from Ladder 62 start a protest with the help of some of the locals. The biggest tragedy about it all? No one gets cupcakes.
These gorillas get the equivalent of an Easter egg hunt when their handlers hide cupcakes all over their home. Watch them discover and eat them. Yummmm. Cupcakes.