Fear the Vegetable

Melissa Cronin · 09/23/15 07:30PM

Vegetables are not the wholesome foods we once thought. Despite their purported fountain-of-youth properties, it’s become clear that, in the public consciousness at least, America’s real enemy #1 is green and leafy.

Cucumbers: Nothing Tastes As Good as Death Feels

Gabrielle Bluestone · 09/10/15 11:58AM

Looking for a low-calorie, refreshing way to hasten your impending death? Why not try a cucumber—an easy way to play Russian dressing roulette with your salad—and your life.