To Get This ISIS Video Workout, You'd Have to Spend $1,000, Plus Get Kicked in the Balls

Sam Biddle · 05/09/16 10:45AM

The propaganda that flows out of the Islamic State is typically of two kinds: Extreme, shocking violence (lynchings, shootings, stabbings, beheadings), or boring scenes of feigned domestic stability (a hummus factory, crops, a bus stop). But the fitness routines of ISIS constitute a third, bizarre form of media terror. Should we be scared of them?

Your Fitness Community Sickens Me

Hamilton Nolan · 08/27/15 10:40AM

You look at yourself and see a strong, vibrant member of a community of like-minded individuals. I look at you and I see a sweaty, desperate fascist in training. Three supportive cheers from the Fitness Team for your personal record today—fascist!

Crossfit Exceptionalism Finally Meets The Holocaust

Jordan Sargent · 08/10/15 04:28PM

There are few things as funny as crazed Crossfit evangelism. There are also few things as funny as someone doing something dumb and narcissistic at a war memorial. This weekend, the two finally and inevitably met, when famous Crossfit evangelist Dave Driskell did a handstand on top of the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe in Berlin.

Crossfit Is a Plague

Hamilton Nolan · 12/10/14 02:50PM

Crossfit here. Crossfit there. Crossfit everywhere. Crossfit is the chicken pox of a new generation.

I Did a Military Assault Race and It Wasn't That Hard

Brendan O'Connor · 10/16/14 08:30AM

A white quad-copter drone saddled with a camera buzzed above us at Brooklyn's Floyd Bennett Field while a uniformed soldier warbled her way through the national anthem, discordant but in harmony just the same. As she finished, the microphone was passed to Sergeant Major Mike Lillie of the United States Marine Corps.

Crossfit Is Super Libertarian, Cool

Hamilton Nolan · 10/02/13 03:17PM

Crossfit is an exercise program with pluses and minuses. On the plus side, it really will get you in good shape. On the minus side, its adherents sometimes resemble intolerably intense cultists, and also, it turns out, it's run by extreme libertarians who enjoy sharing pro-capitalist philosophies, to go with your squats.

Hamilton Nolan · 11/16/12 05:13PM

The founder of Crossfit has won his battle to keep private equity out of Crossfit. Burpee vomit remains in Crossfit.

The Problem(s) With Crossfit

Hamilton Nolan · 07/26/12 03:30PM

First of all let me just say that Crossfit is great. It's great! Crossfit will get your ass in shape. There's no question about it. I certainly am not going to say anything that would make thousands of people in "WODKILLA" t-shirts unduly angry. So it must be said, right up front: Crossfit is a very, very good workout thing.

Crossfit Is Over

Hamilton Nolan · 01/16/12 01:52PM

Did you get a chance to do Crossfit when it was still hardcore? Did you get a chance to do 15 body weigh overhead squats followed by 400-yard sprints for time until you puked, or Tabata intervals until you puked, or sled pulling followed by burpees followed by box jumps followed by muscle-ups, until you puked? If you haven't done it already, it's too late. Crossfit is over.

The Media Wants You Fat And Broke!

Hamilton Nolan · 03/24/08 11:51AM

First, the media implants an unattainable idea in our heads about what a human body should look like. Then, on top of that, popular publications give confusing advice about how to achieve that impossibly cut look! In the last couple of days, the lying liberal media has published several articles on various fitness techniques. You don't need to read any of them, because we're about to round them all up and drop some serious knowledge on you about the phony, media-driven fitness fantasy. After the jump, how to save money and kick ass in this shallow, workout-obsessed world.