When I was six, my mother left a box of small garbage bags lying around. I found one, cut the bottom off, and used the cinch-tie at the top to make a small, crude dress. I put it on and looked at myself in the mirror. As my reflection stared back at me, a wave of well-being surged over me, sweeping away any real specifics of that moment. All that remained was a feeling of correctness, like finding just the right word to describe something: a reflection of myself as I knew myself to be, but had yet to see. I turned away from the mirror with a new sensation of beauty and lightness buoying my step. I descended the stairs to show my parents, who sat in the enclosed porch.
Every year gets a movie so unspeakably disgusting, it becomes a cultural touchstone in its own right. Last year it was The Human Centipede; this year, Jack and Jill. Imagine combining the two into the The Jack and Jill Centipede: a four-man, ass-to-mouth daisy chain of Adam Sandlers surgically attached to Adam Sandlers in drag. The mind reels, the stomach heaves. But you know what's even grosser than that? This. Work It.