The latest front in America's whorish War on Decency could be as close as the drug store aisle. Our nation's Pandora-like women, outfitted in buttocks-baring short shorts as they prowl the landscape for the "good time" Appletini party boy of the night, now demand the right to have unspeakable varieties of grossly sexual concoctions and tools for prodding into nameless bodily crevices available for purchase at every small-town retailer and drug store. How long before your child comes home from a "candy run" to reveal a mouthful not of Lik-M-Aid but of KY Jelly, what with its eye-catching, alluring packaging?
Poor people: why are they poor and dissolute? In this modern age of electrical light-bulbs, horseless carriages, and the inter-net, what excuse hath any man for being less than prosperous? Today, even those of modest means can possess a cell phone, a television, and a "Google" machine that possesses many times the knowledge of the fabled Library of Alexandria. Why haven't our nation's paupers taken advantage of these capabilities to catapult themselves into the upper class?
Don't worry, folks! The crisis at Japan's Fukushima Dai-ichi nuclear power plant should be "over by the end of the year," according to a timeline from plant operator Tepco. "Over," in this case, means that the reactors will be cooled. (Radiation leaks will be "reduced" in three months.) Once "cold shutdown" is achieved, the reactors will be entombed in concrete and contaminated soil will be cleaned up; right now, Tepco is taking readings at the damaged plant through the use of remote-controlled robots. [BBC]