On Monday morning, Donald Trump attempted to clarify the incomprehensible position he staked out this weekend in an interview with George Stephanopoulos. “When I said in an interview that Putin is ‘not going into Ukraine, you can mark it down,’ I am saying if I am President. Already in Crimea!” he tweeted. In the interview, Trump had said that Vladimir Putin is “not going into Ukraine, okay, just so you understand. He’s not gonna go into Ukraine, all right? You can mark it down. You can put it down. You can take it anywhere you want.”
Vladimir Putin’s friend Alexander “The Surgeon” Zaldostanov is the leader of the Night Wolves nationalist motorcycle club, a hardcore Motherland-loving campaigner for “resistance to the global Satanism” and “all this homosexual talk.” He can also put on quite a musical! Perhaps you’d like to feast your eyes on some highlights from the Night Wolves’ first and second annual theatrical extravaganzas, complete with acrobats, fireworks, unauthorized Nirvana covers, revisionist historical reenactments, and sick-ass bike tricks:
The Ukrainian military claims that a helicopter carrying nine of its men was shot down by pro-Russian separatists, despite a ceasefire agreement reached last Friday. All nine men died in the attack and Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko, reports the BBC, is considering ending the ceasefire ahead of its Friday deadline for "constant violation by rebels who are controlled from abroad."
McDonald's announced on Friday that it's suspending operations at its three restaurants in Crimea due to "manufacturing reasons." In a laudable move, the company guaranteed its Crimean employees jobs at McDonald's locations in Ukraine and offered to pay relocation costs, including three months in rent.
President Putin called President Obama Friday afternoon to discuss possible diplomatic solutions to the crisis in Ukraine. Obama "urged Russia to support this process and avoid further provocations, including the buildup of forces on its border with Ukraine," according to a White House press release.
As Russia seizes control of Crimea, one of the stranger things it will be taking over is a unit of trained military dolphins run by the Ukrainian Navy since the fall of the Soviet Union. Ukraine had planned to disband the program in April due to a lack of funds, but Russia has decided to keep it running.
Ron Paul and his think tank don't want the U.S. to get embroiled in an overseas war with Russia over its recent annexation of Crimea. That's reasonable. Ron Paul and his think tank suggest that Russia didn't even invade Crimea, really. That's self-blindered hysterical conspiracy theorizin' bull semen.
Thursday morning, President Obama announced new sanctions against Russia. "The United States is today moving, as we said we would, to impose additional costs on Russia," Obama said, adding that the sanctions will have a "significant impact on the Russian economy but could also be disruptive to the global economy."