Donald Trump Spokesperson Wears Necklace of Real Bullets on CNN

Sam Biddle · 12/30/15 01:21PM

Katrina Pierson, a person Donald Trumps chooses to represent him on television, wore a necklace made out of ammunition last night on CNN. When someone on Twitter pointed this out, she countered with an insane remark about abortion.

Man Has Living Nightmare Trapped in Elevator With Fedora-Wearing Maniac

Andy Cush · 12/11/14 11:17AM

When you're trapped in an elevator with an inconsolable monster, at what point do you begin wondering whether you've died and been sent to some especially cruel hell? Is it when he repeatedly rings the emergency bell, or starts loudly singing Metallica, or when he tells the woman trying to help to suck his cock?

Cord Jefferson · 06/17/13 11:42AM

A Newark-bound United Airlines flight from Hong Kong is carrying a passenger who claims to have "poisoned everyone on board." There is no evidence the passenger, who is being restrained, actually poisoned anyone, but this has all the makings of a good zombie movie opening.

BBC Interview with Alex Jones Ends with Host Calling Him a Crazy Idiot

Cord Jefferson · 06/10/13 03:25PM

The always hermetic Bilderberg Group is currently holding its annual meeting in England, thus making it the perfect time for the BBC to host America's foremost raving lunatic, Alex Jones, purveyor of foil-hat-making message board

Mega Millions 'Winner' on Misplaced Ticket: 'I Haven't Looked in My Pants Yet'

Maureen O'Connor · 04/06/12 08:59AM

"World's most famous McDonald's employee" Mirlande Wilson—who claims she has Maryland's winning Mega Millions ticket but hasn't decided whether or not she'll accept her winning yet—almost definitely didn't win the lottery. But, damn, she has totally won the lottery-centric news cycle. Check out the latest nonchalant multi-millionaire quotes she gave to The New York Post about her supposedly winning ticket:

NYT Reports That Living Alone Makes You Behave Like an Insane Person

Emma Carmichael · 02/23/12 04:55PM

Living alone always sounds so good, doesn't it? You'd have complete control over the remote control. You could always finish the last of the cereal without feeling guilty about it. You could walk around naked every morning. The possibilities are endless.

Congratulations, You're Not Crazy, You're Just Sick

Brian Moylan · 08/09/11 05:41PM

According to a Harvard psychiatrist, about 25% of psychiatric patients don't have anything wrong emotionally, just physically, and treating their illness can cure their mental problems. So, you're not depressed after all, you just have lupus, Lyme disease, or maybe cancer. Yay!