When you're trapped in an elevator with an inconsolable monster, at what point do you begin wondering whether you've died and been sent to some especially cruel hell? Is it when he repeatedly rings the emergency bell, or starts loudly singing Metallica, or when he tells the woman trying to help to suck his cock?
The always hermetic Bilderberg Group is currently holding its annual meeting in England, thus making it the perfect time for the BBC to host America's foremost raving lunatic, Alex Jones, purveyor of foil-hat-making message board Infowars.com.
When the video of a guy talking about filming a naked "gorilla" man is as entertaining as the video of the naked "gorilla" man itself, that's how you know you're in Philadelphia, city of stars, cast of lunatics.
"World's most famous McDonald's employee" Mirlande Wilson—who claims she has Maryland's winning Mega Millions ticket but hasn't decided whether or not she'll accept her winning yet—almost definitely didn't win the lottery. But, damn, she has totally won the lottery-centric news cycle. Check out the latest nonchalant multi-millionaire quotes she gave to The New York Post about her supposedly winning ticket: