In recent weeks, General Electric and Comcast have both ceased doing business with companies in the gun trade. One media outlet thinks it knows why: Unable to get gun control from Congress, the Fortune 500 firms are working with their favorite socialist president to eliminate America's free market in guns.
Don't you sometimes wonder about all the useful information your favorite banks, bill collectors, and mortgage lenders would be sharing with you via your cell phone, whenever they felt like it, if they only could? If our representatives in Washington pass the Mobile Informational Call Act of 2011, you won't have to wonder anymore!
The Obama reelection campaign better send Mitt Romney a thank-you note today, for uttering such a clip-worthy attack ad statement — "Corporations are people too, my friend" — at the Iowa State fair today, in response to some libtard hecklers. Come on, Mittens! You, specifically, look quite bad saying such things!
Over the weekend, bankruptcy-declaring restaurant chain Marie Callender's sent some of its elite squadrons of corporado commandos to at least one of its Seattle area locations to kick out everyone inside—including longtime employees and customers who hadn't finished eating yet. Hard times demand even harder hearts!
No sooner does a team of anonymous American heroes risk their lives in pursuit of a solemn oath of justice than a multinational cartoon corporation seeks to profit from it with shitty tchochkes. Two days after members of the Navy's SEAL Team 6 killed Osama bin Laden, Disney trademarked the name for use in, among other things, "Christmas tree ornaments."
HBO's Horatio Alger story for FoHos living in paradise came to a close last night. How did it end? Did they make it? No. They learned that absolutely everyone—themselves included—is a criminal.
Every year "brand consultancy" (the fake industry to get into, btw) Interbrand puts out a numerical ranking of the world's "best" brands. They have a long bit in the press release about their methodology, but I always assume they just count up the Google hits for "(Brand) sucks." The new list is out, and it seems to follow the "sucks" method to perfection: For the eighth year in a row Coke is the world's best brand, (drug joke). The biggest gainers this year were Google, Apple, and Amazon; the group of biggest losers included financial brands like Merrill Lynch (#1 loser with a bullet!), Morgan Stanley, and Citi. As you would expect. Also plunging into massive suckdom: Ford and The Gap. The lesson here is that in order to have a strong band, be massive yet innocuous-to-boring. I am now a brand consultant. Here's the top 20: