Will Ferrell turns 42 today. Actress Phoebe Cates is turning 46. Playwright Tony Kushner is 53. Violinist Pinchas Zuckerman is 61. Stewart Copeland, the drummer from The Police, is turning 57. Former U.S. attorney general Dick Thornburgh is 77. Doug Herzog, the TV executive who oversees Comedy Central and Spike, turns 50. WABC weatherman Bill Evans is turning 49. Author Michael Gross is 57. Pharmaceutical mogul Michael Jaharis turns 81. François Payard is 43. 90210's AnnaLynne McCord is 22. Former teen star Corey Feldman turns 38. And Ugly Betty's Mark Indelicato celebrates his 15th birthday today.
Click to viewBoomp3.com At the Fox Reality Awards, Corey Feldman took time out of his busy schedule to soothe the frayed nerves of everyone affected by the current state of the economy and the upcoming presidential election. Feldman said, “Don’t worry about anything. I got this. Sues and me are going to Washington right after this event and we’re going to solve everything. We saved the Haimster, so we could probably save the McCain campaign and Wall Street before our first coffee break.” [Photo Credit: Getty Images] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.
Click to viewBoomp3.com On a mission to pick up some suntanning swag, popular vampire slayer/reality TV star Corey Haim happily posed with some fans. Well, one happy fan to be specific. The littlest fan said that Haim has been dead to her ever since he did the completely unnecessary sequels to Fast Getaway and Dream A Little Dream. Haim attempted to explain his reasons for making the sequels, but the lil’ fan threw her lil’ hands over her ears. The elder Haim fan asked if the Haimster would pose for a photo, which he happily agreed to. The elder fan picked up the little one, but she did her best to hide her shame. [Photo Credit: Splash Pic] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.
· Mercifully, the second season of The Two Coreys came to a close this weekend. The Haimster spent all season trying to convince Felddog, his therapist, Nelle, the show's producers and everyone watching the show that he didn't have a drug problem. While it may be true that his addiction to the hard stuff is in the past, the one-car accident that he got into in the season finale certainly shows that prescription drugs still play a significant role in his life. Until next season... [The Two Coreys] · Looking for a good way to kill about 20 minutes of your workday? Try the Empire Magazine poster quiz on for size. Full disclosure: We just got 23/46. [Empire] · Spaghetti, opera, white wine and cardigans with rolled-up sleeves: what the '80s were all about. [Goldenfiddle] · While won't go so far as to say that this girl's Katie Holmes impression tops our own Molly McAleer's Lindsay Lohan impression, there's no denying that this girl has got a lot of Miss Cruise's mannerisms down pat. [Fromacloset's YouTube] · You might the remember that the Tumblrverse nearly collapsed onto itself when a rash of What Would [Insert Mad Men Character Here] Do? sites burst onto the scene a few weeks back. But rather on pontificate on what these group of fictional characters might do, why not spend time time going through the list of things that '80s hero MacGyver actually did? [List Of Problems Solved By MacGyver via Core 77]
The day's fastest-spreading casting rumor intrigues as much for its potential for on-screen carnage as its requisite off-screen tragedy: The man who originated Freddy Krueger in A Nightmare on Elm Street has Billy Bob Thornton pegged to portray the razor-fingered villain in a planned remake. Robert Englund doesn't sound too upset about it, either, informing JoBlo that the Michael Bay-produced reimagining would treat Wes Craven's original with the hacky, high-gloss dignity it deserved 25 years ago. Englund stopped short of suggesting he'd join the film, of course, lest he subject himself to Thornton's infamous scythe-handling clumsiness. Nevertheless, his overall support reminds us what a fertile period it is for the villain in American cinema — and how '80s/'90s-era schlock could stand to benefit from an A-list talent injection. We consulted our own casting department for five ideal remakes, and the stars who might push them over the top:
Forget the anti-"retard" class rallying against Tropic Thunder — you know who really needs a nationwide boycott on his behalf? Corey Haim, whose long, troubling emotional slip-slide took a sharp downward turn into "exploited batshit crazy" Sunday night on The Two Coreys. But don't just take his perceptive mother's word for it ("I have seen a little bit of a decline in his behavior. I really have"); after the jump have a look at dress rehearsals for his putative comeback, featuring the actor himself as the verbally abusive, word-slurring hat-seeker who discovers terror in his very own bathroom as Judy Haim looks on. It could always be worse, we suppose — Corey Feldman doesn't sing or moonwalk — but when we say "Save Corey," we actually kind of mean it. [A&E]
We hate to pile on more misery for Corey Feldman, having just spit his final goodbyes at former best friend Corey Haim after a tender sneaker-note gesture went awry. But we simply had to share some recently unearthed lost performance footage, in which the actor/poolside musician—who spoke out against Michael Jackson during that singer's 2005 child molestation trial—appears to be singing in white-soul-inflected tongues while being possessed by the groin-thrusting spirit of the deposed Pop King himself. The YouTube page hosting this monstrosity comes with an appropriately severe caution ("Warning! This video is very disturbing!"), but we encourage you to tough it through to the very end, if only to experience the vicarious sweet release of one audience member who had simply had enough.
Last week's episode of The Two Coreys was the source of much consternation over here at Defamer HQ. While we'll never know if the Haimster and Felddog will be able to make amends after their friendship-crushing throwdown (that is, until A&E greenlights Season Three), the episode spurred our own Molly McAleer to spend her lunch break sprawled out on lawn somewhere in K-Town postulating which Corey was truly at fault for this epic breakdown. But, as some of you noted, Susie Feldman escaped Molly's rant virtually unscathed. Tonight, all that changes. Enjoy!
The incessant squabbling between Corey Feldman and Corey Haim reached its logical conclusion on last night's The Two Coreys, when Haim—fresh off a botched chance at career resuscitation on the set of Lost Boys 2—was cornered by Pauly Shore and Todd Bridges for an intervention/'80s-TV-theme-singalong gone terrible wrong (video after the jump). What comes next is something so horrible—worse even than Feldman's ear-shredding poolside recital—that our shaking hands can barely type the words to describe it: A note left inside one of Haim's sneakers (nice touch, story editing department!) leads to a nuclear showdown between the two soured bromance partners and Mrs. Susie Sprague-Feldman. Does this mark the very end for the two lifelong friends? Will they never again stand-by-side, posing playfully with Popsicles as if they were lit stogies? We pray that's not the case, but we fail to see how they'll ever be able to replace the smoking rubble where once stood sturdy bridges. Until the next episode, at least.
Much like peanut butter and jelly, Corey Haim and Corey Feldman are considerably more enjoyable together than when they are split apart. But during the second season of The Two Coreys, the forces of nature (not to mention a shady psychologist) seem hellbent on tearing the duo apart. Things between The Coreys came to a head during last night's episode and the results shook our young videographer, Miss Molly McAleer, to her very core. In tonight's installment of To Do's, Molls makes some compelling arguments as to why her Corey allegiances lie the way they do. Enjoy!
From full-page "hire-me" ads to shill-tastic film-festival crashing, we've recently observed the trajectory of Corey Feldman and Corey Haim's relationship with us and each other taking an unusual U-shape. The nadir (we think) appears in this sneak-peek of Sunday's The Two Coreys when, in a testament to love and tone-deafness, Feldman serenaded his wife Susie with a little string-accompanied tune you can hear after the jump. Then join us in comparing and contrasting Feldman's Otis-Redding-by-way-of-chainsaw delivery with a few of the duo's other travails captured here diligently in recent months. Where will it end? Or, more to the point: Will it end?
Phoebe Cates, who made memorable appearances in Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Gremlins and later settled down with Kevin Kline and opened a boutique on Madison Ave., turns 45 today. Cheerful WABC weatherman Bill Evans turns 48. Author Michael Gross is 56. Former teen star Corey Feldman is 37. Will Ferrell is 41. Angels in America playwright Tony Kushner turns 52. And pharma billionaire Michael Jaharis is 80.
We've already seen how Corey Haim's first day of work on the Lost Boys sequel—what should really have been a day for triumphs and smiles—quickly turned into a bloodsoaked, Euripidean tragedy. But what if we were to turn the clocks back to eight hours before his trailer meltdown? Thanks to The Two Coreys, we become a fly on the wall of Haim's improbably plush living quarters, watching him pace nervously as he attempts, via repetition of the mantra, "Breathe, dog," to locate his canine center.